I'm sure there are plenty of places in Glasgow where you could meet your ideal date, they often sell made up 20 year olds that are a size 6 and not ginger in your local blow up doll shop!
Panic button i know you said you are a size 12 which is not ideal but be honest, are you worth a poke? I may lower my dress standards on this occassion bur only if you have a outstanding face.