Depression

[raysparx1]

Has anybody on here had really bad depression, I don't mean a bit fed up or p!ssed off, but proper depression, The reason I ask is, that nearly 3 years ago a good friend of mine commited suicide and it was revealed that he had had depression for 3 years, I never knew, I feel a bit guilty still because I feel i should have noticed, are there any tell tale signs? any advice please because I would hate for this to happen again and I never knew. thanks,Ray

[evedawn]

What a really good thread this has proved to be.

Haing watched my mother suffer with depression (for most of my childhood) and subsequently it "hitting" (me like a sledgehammer!) myself in my late twenties I can identify so much with what some have had to say.

As China very eloquently said right at the beginning most are able to cover it up with ACTING strong, and ACTING they are happy...but thats all it is an ACT. An act that gets harder and harder to do might i add until the only way out would seem like suicide, (the ONLY thing that kept me from doing it was how my family would feel...thankk goodness i managed to hold on to that thread of reality...many don't)

Those who suffer depression can become master of disguise to the outside world when inside all is crumbling. Don't beat yourself up ray - as you can see from us on here your friend was coveringup well.

[cockroach]

come late into this one ...but your last sentence is v true. Mr Roach suffers from th big D ...due to childhood issues...& now business.
I to have had it very recently & still suffering, only Mr Roach knows and helps me as he is managing to control his. No one else knows as you can hide it. I have not taken any perscribed meds...tried the St John...but I feel they dont work for me. Mr R does.
Anyway love to anyone else with D. & esp those who are with them as they suffer in a different way.

[smudge]

Read this whole article this morning, which may be of interest to some of you:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles /health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=519908&i n_page_id=1774&ct=5&ico=Homepage&icl=TabModule &icc=picbox&ct=5

[Lonnie]

Ray,
You've got it, when she gets back from her day centre.

cuddleme,
You've described it exactly, I had counselling, a waste of time, but thats not to say it all is.

I hope you don't mind me saying this, once you've had it, it does come back from time to time, but having hadit, you recognise it, and can take steps to conquer, or supress it.

I am not medically trained, but having had it, I believe the only way to get over it, is your own efforts, and that has to be mentally Herculean.

What helped me, was Fish Oil capsules with Omega3, pure and simple, helps keep it in check.

As things stand, people tend to think your feeling sorry for yourself, even family who know you best.

I really do feel for you, and as someone who's been there, and contantly fighting it, as with Ray, if you want to get in touch via the pm's, please do, but if not, don't worry, I won't be offended.

[lil123]

One of my best friends committed suicide about 12years ago she told no one and even appeared 'happy' the day before she did it.
She was suffering extreme domestic violence and looking back I think she thought it was the only way out.
Last year when I was in a refuge fleeing D.V I too had had enough and thought about committing suicide I didn't tell anyone as I was just going to do it.
Luckily things started looking better just in the nick of time for me so I didn't go through with it
All I can say is I think once a person has made that decition
there isn't a great deal anyone can do I think the people who ask for help are the ones that will accept help

[Baby02]

Eyebrows (are you a doctor) ? ....Obviously not , how dare you say depression is a " made up illness ".Ive watched my dad suffer the past 5 years with depression I hope you never have to watch someone you love cope with depression! you are a sad excuse for a human being!!!

[Ice.Maiden]

Eyebrows - you're totally wrong. Depression isn't the same as just feeling a bit down. It can be a debilitating and serious illness, culminating in a nervous breakdown or suicide. Sometimes signs are visible, sometimes not, but if it makes you feel any better Ray, I doubt anything you could've said or done would've made much impact on what your friend did. Such is the state of mind at suicidal point, that it often isn't planned, but a spur of the moment thing when that person's just unable to cope any longer. We've seen suicide within our family, and also amongst friends. It always leaves those left behind feeling helpless & sad, but there's no answer apart from remembering the good times. x

[raysparx1]

Well what an amazing responce from so many lovely people, Pickle, Icy, lil, cockroach,BaBy, and all the others that posted before, thank you so much for the insight and descriptive ways it can hit people, it really is a case of "There but for the grace of God, goes I" I have obviously been very lucky in that I have never known this darkness that can surround you like a big black cloud, I will remember what you have said and hope you all have happy, healthy and cloud free lives, god bless all of you, Ray

[Lonnie]

Hi Ray,
Apologies, this is for 'cuddleme',

I sent you a pm, but got a server error, and don't know if it was sent, so i'll try again later.

[cuddleMe]

lonnie, im havin probs sending msgs tooo! :( if you have rays email u can ask him for mine if u like!!

ive tried sending a msg again, fingers cross xx

[Lonnie]

Hi cuddleme,
Twice now I sent you a pm, but got that 'server error' both times, I got yours though,

I do have Rays email, i'm sure he won't mind me mentioning that, and I know is not the done thing to to put emails on here, for obvious reasons, so as you've said its ok, i'll ask Ray for it, and hopefully, we'll be in touch soon.

[cuddleMe]

lonnie, ive sent u a message with my email, hope youve got it!!! xx