Nay I lost my Dad 10 years ago and I still fill up when I think of him, on the other hand I lost my mother 7 months ago and I can't find it in myself to cry for her. I miss her but that is all. It does get easier as time passes, I think in your case because your father died of that terrible disease you have missed what he could have said and done for you before he died, I'm sure he loved you and would have said so if he had been able.Your Bf obviously doesn't know what it's like to lose someone, but you should do what you feel is right for yourself, Do you have a favourite relative you can talk to?, it's hard to carry a burden on your own,