News1 min ago
What can I do about someone I love?
13 Answers
there is a man(X) I know well and have very strong feelings for X. I feel right when I'm with him and can't imagine someday being with anybody but him. He's intelligent, funny, caring and attractive. there's really no way to put him into text, so I won't. I know he cares about me, but thing is, he's not a pedophile. He's 41 and I'm just barely considered a minor, but yes- still not 18. AND- He's technically my uncle-in-law? that's right. My aunt got married, and her husband has a brother- who's "X." So we're not blood-related but it would still not be okay. It would be disastrous if anybody were to find this out, so nobody knows but me. I can be very good at keeping secrets. it's unreasonable for me to want to pursue this relationship, i know. But i can't make the strong feelings stop. it's been 3 years of this. what can I do wihtout letting anyone know?
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this sounds like something of a crush as opposed to love, and if you are smitten, is he? he could be flattered at the attention, but he is 41 over twice your age, and think that if this were to go anywhere it might work for a time, but when you are in your 30's he would be getting on a bit.
Is he married though, not sure you said, as that's a definite no no.
Is he married though, not sure you said, as that's a definite no no.
It definitely sounds like a crush, and perfectly normal at your age - older man who are nice to you are very attractive. If he's making no overtures to you, then he probably has no idea that you feel like this about him. No doubt he has his own circle of friends, and if he's single then a lot of older people are very happy that way. There is a huge difference in age which is not so important in twenty years time, but the outlook and understanding of the world in a man of 41 and a teenager are very different. If I were you, I would join clubs and events with prople your own age. You started this crush when you were 15, it sounds as if it's turning into a bit of an obsession and you are not considering any other likely young men. IMO - find something else to occupy your mind. Are you still at school/college? - if you are then things are likely to change when you move away after leaving education. It's good you recognise what you feel, but you are old enough to be able to do something about it, start to move on.
I too have re-read - kind of glanced at first, its been 3 years and yet you are not yet 18?? The way you defend him about not being a paedophile, suggests a sexual relationship.
I agree that you need to occupy yourself with other interests and do things that others your age are doing. Dont waste those young years, you wont get them back. Trust me, as somebody who has pursued a relationship that on reflection, was never going to amount to anything, you do regret the time and energy that you put in!
I agree that you need to occupy yourself with other interests and do things that others your age are doing. Dont waste those young years, you wont get them back. Trust me, as somebody who has pursued a relationship that on reflection, was never going to amount to anything, you do regret the time and energy that you put in!
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