Christmas Presents For Random People
Shopping & Style1 min ago
From When Bill was President
Bill Clinton was walking down the corridors of the White House when he bumped into a girl.
‘Hello, are you new here?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ she replied ‘I’ve only been here two days.’
‘I thought so’, he continued. ‘I didn’t think I’d come across your face before.’
‘Hello, are you new here?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ she replied ‘I’ve only been here two days.’
‘I thought so’, he continued. ‘I didn’t think I’d come across your face before.’
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This was one of my favs from that era.
Hillary Clinton called Bill into her office one day and said, "Bill,
I have a great idea. I know how we can win back middle America and
secure my presidential victory in 2008".
"Great, but how so you propose we go about that?", asked Bill.
"Well", Hillary responds, "We'll go down to a local Wal-Mart, get some cheezy clothes and shoes like most middle Americans wear, and then we'll stop at the
pound and pick up a Labrador . When we look the part we'll go to a nice old country bar in middle America , and we'll show them that we really enjoy the countryside and show admiration and respect for the hard working people living there."
A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from New York in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for.
With dog in tow they walk into the bar.
They step up to the bar and the bartender takes a step back and says, "Aren't you Bill and Hillary Clinton?"
Hillary answers, "Yes we are, and what a lovely town you have here. We were
just passing through and Bill suggested that we stop and take in some local color."
They then order a couple of cocktails from the bartender and proceed to drink them down, all the while chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
The bar room door opens and a grizzled old farmer comes in. He walks up to the Labrador , lifts its tail and looks underneath, shrugs his shoulders and walks out the door.
A few moments later, in came another old farmer.
He walks up to the dog, lifts its tail, looks underneath, scratches his head, and then leaves the bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually Hillary and Bill could stand it no longer and called the bartender over.
'Tell me", said Hillary, "Why did all those old farmers come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of old custom?" "Good Lord no", said the bartender, "It's just that someone has told them that there was a Labrador in here with two a**holes!
Hillary Clinton called Bill into her office one day and said, "Bill,
I have a great idea. I know how we can win back middle America and
secure my presidential victory in 2008".
"Great, but how so you propose we go about that?", asked Bill.
"Well", Hillary responds, "We'll go down to a local Wal-Mart, get some cheezy clothes and shoes like most middle Americans wear, and then we'll stop at the
pound and pick up a Labrador . When we look the part we'll go to a nice old country bar in middle America , and we'll show them that we really enjoy the countryside and show admiration and respect for the hard working people living there."
A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from New York in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for.
With dog in tow they walk into the bar.
They step up to the bar and the bartender takes a step back and says, "Aren't you Bill and Hillary Clinton?"
Hillary answers, "Yes we are, and what a lovely town you have here. We were
just passing through and Bill suggested that we stop and take in some local color."
They then order a couple of cocktails from the bartender and proceed to drink them down, all the while chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
The bar room door opens and a grizzled old farmer comes in. He walks up to the Labrador , lifts its tail and looks underneath, shrugs his shoulders and walks out the door.
A few moments later, in came another old farmer.
He walks up to the dog, lifts its tail, looks underneath, scratches his head, and then leaves the bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually Hillary and Bill could stand it no longer and called the bartender over.
'Tell me", said Hillary, "Why did all those old farmers come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of old custom?" "Good Lord no", said the bartender, "It's just that someone has told them that there was a Labrador in here with two a**holes!
My fave:
At the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked outgoing President Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.
When he entered Clinton 's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal!
That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. “Just think,' he said, 'when I am President, I too could have a gold urinal. But I wouldn't do something so self-indulgent!”
Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that, in his private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.
That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill:
“I found out who pi55ed in your saxophone.”
At the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked outgoing President Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.
When he entered Clinton 's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal!
That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. “Just think,' he said, 'when I am President, I too could have a gold urinal. But I wouldn't do something so self-indulgent!”
Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that, in his private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.
That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill:
“I found out who pi55ed in your saxophone.”
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