negative mind set, how to deal with my husband

[cris r]

Hi Im looking for advice on how to deal with my husbands negative thoughts. They are becoming obsessive and it is eventually going to destroy me.
He came out of his job at christmas the stress was making him ill. We had talked for months befor about this decision and agreed it was the right thing to do as it was making him ill.
Now he is living in a world of complete negativity, I would say he has always been a negative person who has never had a positive outlook on life I can recall him saying he looks on the black side and anything else is a bounu. But when he was working and not under my feet I could handle it.
Since he came out of work he now feels that he will never work again, that he is totally unemployable, that we will run out of the money that we have saved, that we will never be able to sell our home when the time comes. The list goes on. Every morning he says I did not sleep last night do you know what I was thinking about. He spends most of his time either sitting over his calculator working out money or sitting on the computer sighing and say there is nothing out there. He has sent lots of CV of to companys but he expects results right away I keep saying he has to be patient.
We have enough funds to keep us going for years but he hates the thought of spending it, although he realises he will have to eventually. He says he is petrified that we will lose everything. His brother, his sons, his friends have all had words with him. No one sees any problem at the moment only himself. They have told him to relax go and play golf take the dogs for a walk get you bike out.
Ok if he had beeen out of work for two years I could understand his bad thoughts but it has been officially six weeks and the though of living the way we are at the moment is killing me. I took him to the doctor who says he has mild depression he gave him tablets to help, also sleeping tablets but he wont take them. He likes nothing more that to discuss his situation over and over again and it is draining me is all he talks about.
I have told him he is being very selfish all he thinks about is his own feelings. He knows he is upsetting me and so he feels more guilty, but all he says is he can not help it. If I threaten to walk out on him saying that he is killing me tries a little harder for a day maybe,
but soon goes back to his negativity.
How do I cope do I just carry on as normal and ignore him anyone been in this situation themselves I dont know who to ask I even tried to make him see a counsellor but he was having none of that saying he does not think that would help. We are going to Spain next week and I am totally dreading it I wish he would go on his own and give me bit of peace. Am I a bad person for feeling like this we have been married for 35 years and never really had any issues befor we really have no other worries we are very lucky to have what we have and we have a lot to be gratefull for. XXX

[cris r]

Thanks again for the support. All the things mentioned In the above posts I have done. It was me who took him to the doctor and I sat in with him even crying myself at one point out of sheer desperation and thought of having to put up with this for the rest of my life. This is what it feels like.
I dont have many friends actually apart from my sisters and my sister in law no one. But thats another story..
I do work and the funny thing is I use to dread going some days, as we all do now I can not wait to go. Its only part time. I am thinking of looking for something else as well. But I know it is just so I dont have to face my husband.. this makes me feel guilty. I said to him yesterday tthat he has to make an effort to put himself out bit more talk to other people so they knoe he is out of work.. my thinking is the more people who no the better.
I woke this morning to..... did not not sleep I did what you told me to do spoke to friends One of then told me I have no chance of doing joinery work around here another told me Ive got no chance of getting into a company like that, another told me there are no site managers jobs going in north wales and this is waht it is like I had to ask him to swear on my life that is what they said as I know it was not true. He just wants to paint this picture of doom and gloom as this is the way he is feeling himself.
I would phone my sons or my sisters or my mother for a bit of support but I dont want to burden them.. they know what is going on. Anyway all you guys out there are getting it at least I have a vent.xxxxxxx