And then the fight started (I feel a bit mean now)

[Barmaid]

We've got a slightly mad neighbour who complains about EVERYTHING. She's on her own bless so we do keep an eye out for her, but she can be bloody irritating. I've had a particularly bad day. I walked to the shop and she was out the front of her house trimming her bushes with her nail clippers (I kid you not).

On the way back, like an idiot, I walked down her road instead of the other road. She's obviously up for a fight. So first she had a go about the chickens cockadoodling at 4 am (they don't, we haven't got a cock bird and I was up at 3.30 this morning and they never made a sound - even when I let them out at 5, they just get up and get on with it.). Then she had a rant about my trees - she says they shade her garden too much. Well the trees were there first and they are kept properly trimmed and b) she has a north facing garden, the daft Lady.

However, what really kicked it off was she complained that MY cats had dug up her plants and ruined her borders. She admitted she had not seen the cat who dun it. I asked to see the damage expecting devastation and thinking "I've got a truck load of plants, I'll give her some nice replacements and half a dozen fresh eggs". Out the back, she has a neatly trimmed lawn and neat borders. What pushed me over the edge was the fact that one plant was disturbed. On closer inspection I realised that the damn thing (as are all her plants) WAS BLOODY PLASTIC! Unfortunately, that was the final straw.

You know how difficult it is not to laugh when you really shouldn't..........

Just wanted to share!

[EDDIE51]

Nothing to compare to your neighbour but we used to have a woman we called 'The Midnight Gardener' she would go out at midhight or the early hours of the morning and mow the lawn or other gardening. Never saw her out in the daytime , we used to joke that she was a vampire.

[parkie]

Plastic flowers eh? Low maintenance. Flowers all year round. Maybe she's not as daft as she sounds.

[rowanwitch]

Do you want my S and M Gnome to join your neighbours mooning one...

I'd get one of these and put it in her lawn with a pile of earth round it
http://www.thepresent...-the-dog-jack-russell