Kylie Minogue has advertised for a man to check her regularly when she is in London. No experience required, just a gentle and kind nature, and the willingness to be intimate with the superstar, and to cope discreetly with any attendent requirments on a 'see what develops' basis.
I applied and was given a train ticket for newcastle-on-Tyne.
When I queried this, saying the job was specified as being in London, the interviewer advised me that Newcastle was where the end of the queue had reached!!!!
EYYYYEEEEE THEEEENNNKKKK YAAAOOOOUUUUUUU!!