Cheating again

[yellowduck]

Hiya - I explained about me cheating a couple of posts down and I just can't get over what I've done. I'm 18 and it's my first serious relationship and the first time I've ever cheated in any way. My amazing boyfriend (who I've been with for 18months) called earlier to say he doesn't want to break up over it but admitted that this is the worst emotional pain he's ever felt. I can't believe how nice he's being about it but I know to a certain extent he's just putting a brave face on things. It was a stupid druken mistake - I know that's such a cliche - but I honestly never saw myself hurting him. I love him so so much and I can't believe that I, the person I'm sure who loves him most in the world, could also have hurt him more than he's been hurt in his entire life. My heart's literally aching. How could I do this to him? I love him so much xxx

[jno]

well, drink will do it. I hesitate to say stop drinking altogether, but at any rate stop drinking when you start to feel at all light-headed or out of control. Your bf's being very understanding, and I think in his place I would be too; you've just made a beginner's mistake. Everyone has to learn how much liquor he or she can hold. You've explained and apologised. He feels bad and so do you. But neither of you wants to split up; so don't. All part of the great learning curve of life, but if that's the worst thing that ever happens to you, you're in luck.

[Le Chat]

I wouldn't get so wound up about a kiss!! Why the hell did you tell him...it's so unimportant. It's part of young love and relationships to dip your toe (so to speak) in and out of the water! If you're so bothered then give up the booze...if you don't trust yourself when under the influence that is. Or maybe you don't love him as much as you think or you wouldn't have done it in the first place? He sounds a bit of a drip to be honest.....

[josaphine32]

i am sure you love him and guilt has now set in, but you finished at a kiss????....no different to sharing someones tooth brush!!! you did not go any further the best thing you did was that you were honist and that counts for a lot, (Dont Drink) be honist with each other and as long as you love each other your relationship will go far....i wish you all the best 4 you

[Sweet cheeks]

All this trauma and your only eighteen?!?! I long to be eighteen again!!!!! Good luck, and by the way.... was it a good kiss?

[yellowduck]

No it was not a good kiss. It felt so wrong, which of course it was x

[WendyS]

At eighteen, your boyfriend may still seem to be the love of your life but at this point you have only just become an adult and will (unbelievably to you at the moment) probably go on to have a number of other relationships before you settle down. Right now you're still experimenting with the world and your own emotions and unconsciously were possibly testing your boundaries. Apologise to you boyfriend, drink a little less in future and don't punish yourself too much. There are a lot of emotional experiences still out there for your and your boyfriend to work through and in time you will hopefully both be able to see this event in context.

[laurence2]

i wonder if le-chat & josaphine32 have had just a kiss whilst with a partner as you feel its unimportant, no wonder yellowduck is confused, i agree with wendys post and also feel that you are getting to much advise now, its happened you had advise you,ve dealt with it with your boyfriend now its time to make your decision.once again if all parties are ok move on but its obviously beating you up inside so sit down with your partner over a nice meal air your views and make your decision otherwise your be constantly going round in circles

[noxlumos]

Can I just advise you not to get addicted to the angsty feelings of drama that you both seem now to be feeling. You kissed someone, you felt bad about it afterwards, learn from that and don't do it again.There was no real need to tell your boyfriend and upset him, that's just made a small situation much bigger. Bury it now, don't discuss it anymore, stop all the handwringing and heart to hearts and get on with your lives if you love each other, otherwise it's going to spiral out of all proportion.

[chimney]

noxlumos is absolutely right, just get on with your lives, your 18, how are you going to cope when something happens that really is emotional? You've just started the rollercoaster known as real life. Just sit back and enjoy the ride