Where do I legally stand stopping the children's father having any access?

[Georgina2005]

I divorced in January last year. Our 3 children live with me. The children are on the at risk register for emotional harm caused by their father. A Contact Order was put in place January 07 stating contact every other weekend for their father. It also stated he was to call on a Tuesday and Friday. He has not stuck to the Court Order, does not call them on the days agreed. Has cancelled his Contact weekends once in Jan, Feb and April and May. He is abusive to me on the phone. Can I just stop the children seeing him? Social Services do nothing, can do nothing. Please help. Am at my wits end to do the right thing...

[lizzydrippin]

But do the children themselves want to have contact with their father?

[Georgina2005]

They are not too bothered to be honest. It is me who has been pushing them to see him as I don't think it right they don't have some contact with their Father, despite our differences why should the children suffer. However, they are suffering as it is blatently obvious he is not interested in them. I am not suggesting he does not love them, but he really has moved on to his new girlfriend and her 3 boys.

[lizzydrippin]

Thats awful Georgina and must be really hard for you to see him treat them so badly. He will regret it one day when he has missed their childhoods and has broken any bonds that he had once with them. I'd be surprised if he actually manages to be there for these children that are not his own long-term when he has treated his own children so shabbily. I wish you and your children all the best for the future.

[Georgina2005]

Thank you. All I can do is lead by example and be there for the children 100% above all else. They are smashing children and deserve nothing less.

[hurt]

I really do feel for you. My ex is just like that with my daughter. We, at the moment are just being taken to court by her father for contact but he was allocated contact last year that he never kept to. Can I ask you about the emotional register that you mentioned because my daughter has again started wit the sleepless nights, nail biting, lack of concentration at school and shes only 5. She doesn't deserve this as neither do yours.

In answer to your question - my solicitor said that if at any time I am not entirley comfortable with the contact then I am not to let her go because if I do then I am not being a responsible parent.

[Georgina2005]

The eldest does not, the middle one "not bothered" and the youngest is 3, and I think she should see him and make up her own mind with time. The older 2 talk to Social Services and the school nurse, and are able to voice their opinions freely to them (without me there).

[Georgina2005]

I'd talk to Social Services. They have been really helpful, and to be honest the children have had support from them. Also Social Services are an independent body and then your ex cannot say that you "manipulate" or "put ideas" into their heads. You cannot win either way really, but just to keep doing the right thing by the children. Actions speak louder than words, and my ex has now said he only wants to see them once a month! Marvellous isn't it! I just don't understand them at all.