ChatterBank3 mins ago
Mulling Again.....
35 Answers
I love pressies.....getting and giving....and I do put a lot of thought into what I give...
Over the past few years I have given experience vouchers to some of the younger family members......Driving at Silverstone.....Segway and Flight Simulator.....that sort of thing.
Not only were these gifts not acknowledged...some (£150 worth) weren't used....so I decided to give cash then they could buy what they wanted.
Two gifts last month brought silence....(£50 and £30)....I had to check they had been received.....and I'm not looking for eternal gratitude....just a polite thank you so I know they've got it.
So...after much mulling I've decided to give them each a nice Christmas card explaining that the money I would have spent on a gift has been give to Crisis at Christmas.....I do know what being homeless feels like and it's a charity I support.
As I say.....I'm not looking for gushes of gratitude and I'll tease them a bit when we meet up......I'm not brooding over their lack of thanks either.....but I do think a thank you is important....
So....would you go along with the Crisis decision?....Or would you just keep giving?
Gx
Over the past few years I have given experience vouchers to some of the younger family members......Driving at Silverstone.....Segway and Flight Simulator.....that sort of thing.
Not only were these gifts not acknowledged...some (£150 worth) weren't used....so I decided to give cash then they could buy what they wanted.
Two gifts last month brought silence....(£50 and £30)....I had to check they had been received.....and I'm not looking for eternal gratitude....just a polite thank you so I know they've got it.
So...after much mulling I've decided to give them each a nice Christmas card explaining that the money I would have spent on a gift has been give to Crisis at Christmas.....I do know what being homeless feels like and it's a charity I support.
As I say.....I'm not looking for gushes of gratitude and I'll tease them a bit when we meet up......I'm not brooding over their lack of thanks either.....but I do think a thank you is important....
So....would you go along with the Crisis decision?....Or would you just keep giving?
Gx
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I agree Gness, but not all do, as I found out.
My view is that young children can be stood over and assisted while writing their Thank You cards/emails/making the phone call. As they reach their teens they get to learn that their (in)actions have consequences, as adults there is no excuse and they also learn the hard way......albeit with a charitable outcome as per your proposal.
My view is that young children can be stood over and assisted while writing their Thank You cards/emails/making the phone call. As they reach their teens they get to learn that their (in)actions have consequences, as adults there is no excuse and they also learn the hard way......albeit with a charitable outcome as per your proposal.
I would be interested in the reaction out there to a Grandma with two grown up grandchildren who recieve money on birthdays and Christmas who do eventually send a thank-you card to say they received it,but that is the only communication all year.All the rest of the year there is no correspondence AT ALL not even a phone call now and then,obviously no interest whatsoever,no involvement in part or any of their lives,would you continue to give?
If you are describing your own situation Vakayu I'd probably consider not sending anymore gifts either.
If you are describing your relationship with your grandchildren what has brought about such a distanced relationship, is it reflected in a self contained relationship you have with their parents? There is nothing to stop you contacting them too outside the annual rituals of birthdays and Christmas. Your grandchildren may have observed a distant relationship and assumed that that is how you like things to be, just a thought.
If you are describing your relationship with your grandchildren what has brought about such a distanced relationship, is it reflected in a self contained relationship you have with their parents? There is nothing to stop you contacting them too outside the annual rituals of birthdays and Christmas. Your grandchildren may have observed a distant relationship and assumed that that is how you like things to be, just a thought.
Humph I thought this would be a thread on mulled wine.
I don't think folk are brought up to acknowledge gifts any more. Maybe they don't believe the giver expects it.
As for giving, I'm at an age, or maybe I should say my niece and nephew are near an age, when I wonder if they should be treated as adults and only give to those who reciprocate, or not.
I don't think I'd go the charity giving route as it smacks of making out one have given a gift when one has, at most, forced them to have given their gift to charity. One should either give on their own behalf, or not.
Whether you continue to give gifts, is a separate and personal decision.
I think I'm going to0 be giving unreciprocated gifts until they are my age ! But maybe for the best as no one knows what I want and for years what gifts I have been given, whilst thanking the giver, have had a 50/50 chance of simply stored.
I don't think folk are brought up to acknowledge gifts any more. Maybe they don't believe the giver expects it.
As for giving, I'm at an age, or maybe I should say my niece and nephew are near an age, when I wonder if they should be treated as adults and only give to those who reciprocate, or not.
I don't think I'd go the charity giving route as it smacks of making out one have given a gift when one has, at most, forced them to have given their gift to charity. One should either give on their own behalf, or not.
Whether you continue to give gifts, is a separate and personal decision.
I think I'm going to0 be giving unreciprocated gifts until they are my age ! But maybe for the best as no one knows what I want and for years what gifts I have been given, whilst thanking the giver, have had a 50/50 chance of simply stored.
Sorry to disappoint, OG.....wine will be mulling next week....x
I will give to Crisis and there will be no bad feelings.....I know I can say why I have done it.....there may be one or two blushes but I can tease them too... my way of making a point with no lingering hurt.
Vak.....if there is nothing more to your relationship than they just accept your gifts I would call a halt this year and see what happens.....x
I will give to Crisis and there will be no bad feelings.....I know I can say why I have done it.....there may be one or two blushes but I can tease them too... my way of making a point with no lingering hurt.
Vak.....if there is nothing more to your relationship than they just accept your gifts I would call a halt this year and see what happens.....x