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Bbbananas

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Bbbananas

I really really really want to... but I really mustn't. Should I?

My son has dejected me twice in the past as a FB friend because of embarrassing (so he thinks) comments on his public 'wall'. The last rejection was 3 months ago because I called him Daniel Spaniel -...
10:21 Wed 18th Nov 200953 answers, last by sallabananas 12:11 Wed 18th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

A Windsday Morning Laugh (This is NOT a 'Lil' story - but easily could be...)

Lil, unusually dishevelled & distressed, rushses up to the Skeggy Lifeguard shouting "There's a dead dog over there with its legs cut off". Lifeguardman strode towards the spot where the...
07:19 Wed 18th Nov 200937 answers, last by sallabananas 14:23 Wed 18th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

It's hard to believe I once had a hymen......

... and with that, I'm going home before I get banned or blasted. Night folks - Tesco awaits. More shoplifting, or re-distribution of wealth......
17:07 Tue 17th Nov 200916 answers, last by Bobbisox 17:23 Tue 17th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

I'm going to the BF's sisters in Cardiff for the weekend....

She Who Could Easily Be Christine Hamilton's doppelganger - both in looks and personality (it's gotta be better than Edwina Currie or, God Forbid, Cherie Blair....) Now the old bird aint that bad once...
15:56 Tue 17th Nov 200923 answers, last by sallabananas 16:49 Tue 17th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

A dairy-free chocolate mousse recipe?

Does one exist? Can't see it myself. Surely you can't make a chocolate mousse without using butter and/or cream? My BF has a dairy intolerance (not allergy - he's ok with chocolate funnily enough). He...
11:58 Tue 17th Nov 20093 answers, last by woofgang 18:01 Fri 04th Dec 2009
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Bbbananas

Shouldn't laugh.....but....

... over in 'beauty' is a poor girl who "after one alcoholic beverage, my cheeks seem to explode". Maybe my mate Lil comes on here herself after all.....?!!...
11:34 Tue 17th Nov 20091 answer, last by rinkins 11:36 Tue 17th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

Another Lil story.... (this time, with apologies to her son).

There we are, sat in a very posh expensive restaurant waiting to be shown to our table. There are about 12 of us in our group and the restaurant is very full. It is my daughter's 21st birthday....
11:14 Tue 17th Nov 200916 answers, last by sallabananas 11:35 Tue 17th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

The Tesco Carrier Bag Incident (happened to a friend of mine).

This is a most distasteful story, far worse than the suspected-Herpes incident, but I am being FORCED, I repeat forced, to spill.... (With apologies to Lil.) She had a very nasty gastroenteritis-type...
10:53 Tue 17th Nov 200933 answers, last by mccfluff 11:51 Tue 17th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

Bats in the attic...

I read at the weekend that apparently Cherie Wide-Mouthed-Frog Blair has had to delay her move into her latest mansion because it's infested with old bats.... Oh, the delicious irony......
10:30 Tue 17th Nov 200919 answers, last by rinkins 11:03 Tue 17th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

The Importance of Being Ernest...

Just who does this Ernest fellow think he is? The pomposity.... How important do you think it is to be earnest?...
10:23 Tue 17th Nov 200914 answers, last by logic 10:49 Tue 17th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

The Crying Game... part II.

She can't see it properly in the mirror, no matter what angle. It feels HUGE. It needs getting rid of pronto. But, all the docs she could possibly consult, she knows personally or works with. Still -...
08:13 Tue 17th Nov 200926 answers, last by rinkins 10:48 Tue 17th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

Set to the tune of 'The Crying Game' - (for girls only)

I know all there is to know about the Shaving Game. I promised this story on Friday to Rinks, Fluffy & Ummm... so here goes. Just imagine there was once a girl who was all excited cos she had an...
08:05 Tue 17th Nov 20094 answers, last by Bobbisox 08:29 Tue 17th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

I've just been chastised...

.. for smirking & having to hold back a girly giggle because in a staff discussion someone said "the nub of the matter". I can't help it, but when I hear the word 'nub', I think of...
11:08 Fri 13th Nov 200931 answers, last by mccfluff 12:21 Fri 13th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

Obstropolous. Now there's a word.

Did you know that's where the word 'stroppy' came from? I never really thought about it until today. And it always reminds me of Hilda Baker - she of the pickle factory and "she knows...
09:51 Fri 13th Nov 20099 answers, last by Ankou 10:03 Fri 13th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

I have an itch that I just can't reach to scratch...

... one of those on my back where, whichever angle I put my hand, I can't quite reach it either from the top down or the side in, or upwards. I need Keith - where's he when I need him? (the caribbean...
08:53 Fri 13th Nov 200913 answers, last by sallabananas 09:08 Fri 13th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind.... Version II

It is still a sci-fi sit-com about shenanigans aboard a spaceship.. but this time it takes place in the on-board operating theatre rather than the lavatory. And Captain Paddy is Irish (bet that was...
08:22 Fri 13th Nov 20097 answers, last by sallabananas 09:09 Fri 13th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

I have a girlie crush on Claudia Winkleman.

I think she's just great. Ditzy though clever, attractive but not too beautiful, funny but not up herself, self-depracating but not pathetically so. Add to that; clumsy, unsure.... No- I'm not 'on the...
07:28 Fri 13th Nov 200927 answers, last by yogi-bear 13:34 Fri 13th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

Close Encounters of the Husband & Boyfriend Kind...

Have you ever had a bizarre encounter with an ex & a present spouse or boy/girlfriend? Last Christmas my to-be-ex-husband came round to my house to deliver pressies (we're still 'amicable'). My BF...
14:47 Thu 12th Nov 200924 answers, last by annie0000 21:11 Thu 12th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind...

I'm bored. I think I'm going to write a sit-com based on scientific shenanigans in the lavatory of a spaceship. Do you think the above is a good title? Do you think the BBC would put it into...
14:22 Thu 12th Nov 200923 answers, last by Ankou 15:47 Thu 12th Nov 2009
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Bbbananas

It was only a little twit, but it hurt more than the last one did.

And folks - I am talking about ?????????
16:06 Wed 11th Nov 200913 answers, last by sallabananas 17:20 Wed 11th Nov 2009

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