albaqwerty Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Ho Ho Ho

When this bloke asked me if i preffered legs, thighs or breasts, i told him that i had a fondness for shaved fannies. He then told me that this wasnt an option with the KFC Bargin Bucket.......

midagetrolop

Cat poo

My neighbour has about 10 cats and they use my garden and another neighbours as their toilet - she says they don't , but we have seen them frequently. If I send it back it is an offence?

R1Geezer

EU elections comming up. UKIP anyone?

Normally I'm a Tory however I'm going to lend my vote to UKIP in June as I hope they can get in and wreck the gravy express. All the Furore about the UK MP's snouts in trough, kin amatuers, get a load...

Ankou

Are you superstitious?

"Our brains are pattern-recognition machines, connecting the dots and creating meaning out of the patterns that we think we see in nature. Sometimes A really is connected to B, and sometimes it is...

Joy11

hellooooooooooo

Not a thread as such, a wave to all of you I send with my love,,,lol

cymruambyth1

Things that remind you of Somerset!

Hey - I was wondering what comes into your head when thinking of Somerset?!

emmamunchkin

my 1800 typhoon hoover keeps cutting out

my 1800 typhoon hoover keeps cutting out we av changed the fuses twice and ad a look at the belt and it seems fine, any suggestions or is it a gonner

frankofile

Off on holiday

Hi Guys Don't go on here much, but enjoy reading the threads Off tomorrow to south of France for 2 weeks by Eurostar and TGVwith better half. Wish me luck and hope Iv'e got all the connection times...

frankofile

politically correct Irish joke

Wilfred (or Paddy to you) goes for a job on a building site. The foreman asks " what's the difference between a joist and a girder?" Well says Wilfred(Paddy) Joyce wrote Ullysses and Goethe wrote...

jonnoman

I need a poo

I'm going to do a poo at Paul's.

McMouse

Is a "Swiss Army Wife"

a woman that can iron with one foot, cook a meal with her right hand, vacuum with her other foot and masturbate you with her left hand.

SLINKYKATE

opened my windows for fresh air

while i was sitting here concentrating on my one finger typing,a huuuuuuuge bloody fly skimmed by my face,the size of a helicopter,well the size of a queen bee,you seen any big ones?????????

middkazsam

how is everyone feeling today?

how is everyone feeling today? i feel abit glum

No,Knowledge

he is great isn't he's the no1

everyone on this site knows he is brilliant his he? do you like him or wat???

HJT40

Wedding Guests - How much is reasonable?

I am getting married in 11 weeks (yipee!). The invites were sent out in plenty of time, due to school summer holidays, we are getting married in a registry office near where we live and the reception...

McMouse

If a man speaks in the forest

and there's no woman around to hear him... Is he still wrong?

No,Knowledge

If the standard of drivel does not improve

i am leaving.

SLINKYKATE

text joke of the week

whats the best thing about giving a naughty schoolgirl a proper spanking being able to claim back the?500 fee on my mp's expenses

Caribeing

Are you happy with your name!

Are you happy with the name your parents give you or would you like to change it! I worked in the public sector and have came across, brother and sister Lavender and Lyle , Shalako,{parents fans} of...

lunaraine

Mis-located genitals

I have a vague recollection of a film in which a character is kicked and falls to the ground, the explanation is that his genitals are in his armpit.......What is the film? We have a feeling it is a...

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