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Berniecuddles2

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Patsy33

My Friend

My friend likes to weave garden herbs together to make belts, what a waist of thyme....
15:59 Wed 27th Sep 20178 answers, last by Patsy33 19:09 Wed 27th Sep 2017
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fruitsalad

Being Popular At Your Funeral

I'm not sure if its just me, thinks this way, but does it really matter how many people come to your funeral, the deceased is not going to know a lot about how many people are there.
14:43 Wed 27th Sep 201746 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:26 Wed 27th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

A Blonde Went To The Dentist!

At the dentist! “I want you to paint my teeth blue” – said the blonde. “What!?” – exclaimed the dentist. “Just do it!!” – said the blonde. So the dentist painted her teeth blue. The...
07:19 Wed 27th Sep 20178 answers, last by marval 18:13 Wed 27th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Golf Lesson!

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he...
12:15 Wed 27th Sep 20175 answers, last by zebo 15:36 Wed 27th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Dyson Cars...

If I purchased one of those new electric Dyson cars... Would I finally be able to pick up girls?...
08:55 Wed 27th Sep 201710 answers, last by Patsy33 13:14 Wed 27th Sep 2017
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mikey4444

Dyson To Make Electric Cars From 2020

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-41399497 Who wants to have a bet on where these cars will be made ? Will it be in Malmsbury, where he used to make his hoovers, or will it be Malaysia ?...
09:00 Wed 27th Sep 201728 answers, last by EDDIE51 08:57 Fri 29th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

I Used To

I used to hate walking under the horse chestnut trees in the autumn, but now, since therapy, I know I will conker it!
19:13 Tue 26th Sep 20177 answers, last by Patsy33 19:45 Tue 26th Sep 2017
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-SharonA-

In The Restaurant

Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the men said to the other, “Please help yourself.” The other one said...
16:29 Tue 26th Sep 20173 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:29 Tue 26th Sep 2017
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albaqwerty

Ikea Advert

makes me grin and think about a certain ab'er :-D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6HwhEjTGgs...
13:45 Tue 26th Sep 20177 answers, last by bookbinder 17:25 Tue 26th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

The Queen

The Queen visited a Post Office depot this morning, security had to step in when someone tried to lick the back of her head...
13:38 Tue 26th Sep 20176 answers, last by Shaglene 11:34 Wed 27th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Gamblers Anonymous Meeting !

Sat next to a fruit machine addict at a gamblers anonymous meeting last night, It was awful!.. He kept nudging me!...
12:08 Tue 26th Sep 201710 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:05 Tue 26th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

My New

My new favourite band is Dog Whistle, you won't have heard them....
13:02 Tue 26th Sep 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 13:26 Tue 26th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Doing The Washing Up!

My wife was bending over doing the washing up in the kitchen and I was watching the news of the flood damage to the roads... On reflection probably not the best time to exclaim: "christ, look at the...
11:39 Tue 26th Sep 20173 answers, last by Shaglene 11:39 Wed 27th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

At School!

I said to my son if anyone tries to take your lunch money at school you're to head butt them. I can't believe he got sent sent home early today for breaking the dinner lady's nose!!...
06:41 Tue 26th Sep 201713 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 11:32 Tue 26th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Up A Ladder!

i was up a ladder putting a cinema poster up. Lady said "Is King Kong Coming?" I said "No it’s just the paste off my brush"...
07:55 Tue 26th Sep 20175 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:35 Tue 26th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

A Fireman

A fireman runs into a classroom holding a screwdriver and yells: "Quick, everyone get out. This is not a drill!"...
21:12 Mon 25th Sep 20178 answers, last by DaisyNonna 22:28 Mon 25th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

A Catholic Girl!

A Catholic girl goes into confession and says to the priest "I'm pregnant" He asks her "how did this happen my child" She says " I think it must be the second coming" The priest , shocked by this...
20:49 Mon 25th Sep 20177 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 20:57 Mon 25th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Elton John!

Turns out Elton John doesn’t like lettuce much. He’s more of a Rocket man....
17:53 Sat 23rd Sep 20174 answers, last by zebo 20:36 Sat 23rd Sep 2017
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-SharonA-

Book On Birds

I have written a book on birds..... They're flying off the shelves!!!!...
12:53 Sat 23rd Sep 201717 answers, last by emmie 16:30 Tue 26th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Greek Mythology

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
17:10 Fri 22nd Sep 201713 answers, last by vetuste_ennemi 23:22 Fri 22nd Sep 2017

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