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lindylou16

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Jemisa

Do you think - - -

Marriage is like a deck of cards.................... In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end.............. you'll wish you had a club and a spade..... jem...
13:26 Thu 21st Oct 20102 answers, last by askyourgran 18:47 Thu 21st Oct 2010
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laurababy

new ears

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a...
23:10 Tue 19th Oct 20105 answers, last by lindylou16 17:32 Wed 20th Oct 2010
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babsthebunny

do men with partners watch porn or do i need to worry

i have been on my partners laptop and well i seem to find is port and weather sites and of coruse facebook but i am not bothered about most of then but the porn sites. we dont do it that often cos he...
08:06 Wed 20th Oct 201060 answers, last by virmos 12:10 Sat 13th Nov 2010
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Graham-W

Minimum Wage

Dennis Penberthy, an elderly Cornish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions, stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees enough and they would send an...
14:55 Thu 14th Oct 20104 answers, last by Graham-W 19:18 Thu 14th Oct 2010
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laurababy

QUICKIE JOKE

Did you hear about the fat alcoholic Transvestite ?.....All he wanted to do was, eat drink and be Mary
22:40 Wed 13th Oct 20103 answers, last by marval 18:41 Thu 14th Oct 2010
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lindylou16

Code for Radio.

Hi I think i may have to get myself a new battery for a Mazda 6 shortly, The guy at Halfords tells me i shall need the radio code or else the CD/Radio wont work. How do i go about getting this code as...
08:58 Thu 14th Oct 20109 answers, last by lindylou16 16:29 Thu 14th Oct 2010
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I proposed to my schizophrenic girlfriend last week

But she's still in two minds about it. <retrieves coat>...
09:41 Wed 13th Oct 20106 answers, last by Avatar 11:07 Thu 14th Oct 2010
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Vine-isms

That Black Beauty eh? Bit of a dark horse. Any more?...
09:44 Wed 13th Oct 20104 answers, last by lankeela 23:33 Thu 14th Oct 2010
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Neighbours dog

My neighbour tells a story of how his dog can collect a stick from over 2 miles away. Sounds a bit far fetched to me....
09:43 Wed 13th Oct 20103 answers, last by marval 14:01 Wed 13th Oct 2010
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lindylou16

Racist or a joke you decide.

My lad came home from school yesterday and asked, "Dad, am I a Jew or am I a Gypsy?" I asked why he wanted to know. He said, "Because a kid at school is selling a bike for thirty quid....
11:21 Wed 13th Oct 20106 answers, last by lindylou16 11:31 Wed 13th Oct 2010
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tonyted

My local bakery

sells these cheese and bacon things that are wrapped with really greasy puff pastry with a slice of tomato on top sprinkled with dried herbs. As I sit there, eating it, I am thinking, 'this just can't...
01:47 Sat 09th Oct 20109 answers, last by askyourgran 19:51 Mon 11th Oct 2010
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_sophie_

X Factor Show

I heard there is a new x factor show called The F Factor? Apparently it's on STV on Wednesdays at 5:30pm but I looked today and it wasn't there? When is it on? Thanks
18:59 Mon 11th Oct 20102 answers, last by _sophie_ 16:52 Thu 14th Oct 2010
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lindylou16

TV " No Signal"

Hello Our TV screen displays the "No Signal" message this does not change at all when i remove the antenna plug where i would expect a flickering screen, Any ideas please....
13:50 Sun 03rd Oct 20108 answers, last by AlBags 14:16 Sun 03rd Oct 2010
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lindylou16

Memory card reader

Until recently when i place my photo memory card into my PC I would get a banner asking me what i would like to do next (i.e view or copy the photos wherever) but now when i place the card in Picasa...
18:12 Fri 24th Sep 20103 answers, last by lindylou16 16:42 Sat 25th Sep 2010
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cdwrover123

American Psycho

in the film American Psycho, Patrick talks about his partner Evelyn sleeping with his best mate Tim bryce and is indifferent as to whether she knows he's sleeping with Courtney. Could you send me that...
18:19 Fri 24th Sep 20105 answers, last by piggynose 17:41 Tue 28th Sep 2010
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carrust

Women & multi-tasking.

Most people say that women are good at multi-tasking. Last night I told the missus to shut the eff up, & sit down...she couldn't do either.......
14:07 Fri 24th Sep 20101 answer, last by lindylou16 19:03 Fri 24th Sep 2010
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ttfn

Patience Is A Virtue

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle,...
19:08 Wed 22nd Sep 20108 answers, last by lindylou16 14:34 Thu 23rd Sep 2010
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Jemisa

The Lecture...

Professor Hammond at the University of Londonwas giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to his first year medical students. Realising this was not the most riveting subject, the...
09:48 Mon 20th Sep 20103 answers, last by lindylou16 10:44 Tue 21st Sep 2010
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carrust

Cats?

I was walking with a friend down our local high street, when we came upon a pet shop. A sign on the shop front said. Pedigree Netherlands cats for sale. Well, this mate of mine is a bit of an expert...
19:50 Mon 20th Sep 20107 answers, last by askyourgran 18:41 Tue 21st Sep 2010
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BertiWooster

Beggars

There have been instances where ' beggars ' have spent the day begging , and then at the end of the day go back to their nice car parked a few streets away , change their clothes and go home to their...
19:48 Fri 10th Sep 201041 answers, last by smurfchops 17:49 Tue 21st Sep 2010

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