WHEN LOVE FADES....... Last night I was watching TV on the sofa when I heard my wifes voice from the kitchen.'What would you like for dinner my Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?' I said, 'Thank you, I'll...
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No,...
A DAY ON THE SICK An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning: "I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick." On...
A MOST UNUSUAL DEFENCE A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is...
i booked a flight online, had my ref number written down, i producedd this at checkin the staff told me because i didnt print my boarding card off online the night before i had to pay £40 !!!!!...
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else... After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally...
Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember, not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom. 1. Sweet cigarettes 2. Coffee shops with juke boxes 3. Home milk delivery in glass...
The Club is now open. What a delightful week we have had, climaxing in a glorious day at the local fruit and flower show where lordalex's onions failed to impress the judges yet again, but his leek...
MY LIVING WILL Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that...
I was stood outside a pub today smoking a ciggie when the landlord came out and said" If your smoking, you need to be at least 4ft away from the pub or it's illegal?"
This letter was sent to the head teacher of the local school, after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the local senior citizens. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a prize, and...