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marval

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marval

Belgium

I popped into a travel agent and said, "I am thinking of going to Belgium." The assistant responded "Antwerp?" I said, "No, he doesn't want to go." I have just watched a film about a man who broke his...
17:11 Fri 13th Nov 202011 answers, last by marval 18:55 Fri 13th Nov 2020
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marval

Ouch

A drummer acquaintance of mine had a bit of an accident earlier. He tripped and fell over his fully assembled drum kit and accompanying congas, and received a nasty bang on his head He is now...
23:18 Wed 11th Nov 202012 answers, last by Chipchopper 12:56 Thu 12th Nov 2020
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marval

Great Canal Journeys

Will anyone be watching Great Canal Journeys tomorrow? It is on Channel4 at 8.00, with Shelia Hancock and Gyles Brandreth. I will miss Tim and Pru, but I will watch this new one....
22:47 Sat 07th Nov 202018 answers, last by naomi24 22:39 Mon 09th Nov 2020
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marval

Shame

Six year old Mary comes home from school, and says that she had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother asked how it went. “I nearly died of shame,” she answered. “John from down our...
16:33 Sat 07th Nov 20201 answer, last by Patsy33 17:25 Sat 07th Nov 2020
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marval

A Man

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise. The librarian says, "Sure, what Volume would you like?" My partner said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your...
17:41 Mon 19th Oct 20206 answers, last by zabado 16:50 Tue 20th Oct 2020
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marval

Does Anyone?

As the storm raged, the captain realised his ship was sinking fast. So he shouted out, "Anyone here knows how to pray?" Just one guy stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain, I know how to pray."...
17:01 Sun 11th Oct 20201 answer, last by Bobbisox1 17:04 Sun 11th Oct 2020
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marval

It Is Time

My partner has just found out I have spent all our savings on Muppets memorabilia. It's time to face the music....
16:50 Sat 10th Oct 20207 answers, last by Theblip 21:46 Mon 12th Oct 2020
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marval

Arrested

I got arrested last night for smashing my neighbour's car windows out with a hammer. I did it because he has been playing Engelbert Humperdinck songs nonstop for the last seven days. Anyway, I had the...
22:05 Thu 08th Oct 20203 answers, last by Bazile 07:39 Fri 09th Oct 2020
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marval

Hopped

I hopped on a bus today. After five minutes, the driver told me to sit down. My hot water heater packed up, so I had to fill the bath using a kettle and a load of saucepans. It was jolly uncomfortable...
14:42 Wed 07th Oct 20204 answers, last by fourteen85 14:49 Fri 09th Oct 2020
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marval

Rolling Pin

Two very inebriated friends trail back to one of their homes at three thirty in the morning. They find the wife of one of the friends stood in the doorway armed with a rolling pin. The other one...
16:32 Tue 06th Oct 20203 answers, last by Bobbisox1 16:56 Tue 06th Oct 2020
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marval

What Is A Face Covering?

I do not agree with this, but did he really think he would get away with it? https://news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-bus-passenger-uses-snake-as-a-face-mask-12072957...
15:21 Wed 16th Sep 20205 answers, last by rowanwitch 18:50 Wed 16th Sep 2020
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marval

What Is?

The sergeant was in one of his rare moods as he lectured the recruits. "Let me ask you a simple question, what is fortification?" There was no response. Nor did any of the rookies answer when he...
15:32 Sun 13th Sep 20201 answer, last by Togo 15:48 Sun 13th Sep 2020
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marval

Manuel

I am having trouble finding a manual for a Toshiba 32WL3A63DB smart TV. Can anyone help please, thank you.
12:01 Sat 12th Sep 20204 answers, last by jno 13:11 Sat 12th Sep 2020
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marval

I Refuse

Dear Hiring Manager Thank you for your letter of March 1st. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department. This...
13:47 Sun 06th Sep 20203 answers, last by zebo 12:53 Tue 08th Sep 2020
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marval

Rejected

Dear (person being rejected's name here____); I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly...
12:50 Sat 05th Sep 2020
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marval

Honeymoon

Mr Sine and Miss Cosine get married and head for their honeymoon to a seaside destination. So they are chilling by the beach, and sipping on their drinks, and things get naughty. During a lovemaking...
17:36 Mon 24th Aug 20204 answers, last by Ellipsis 12:37 Fri 28th Aug 2020
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marval

Sorry In Advance

A man was driving through the countryside when he happened upon a sprawling farm, covered as far as the eye could see in brightly coloured variants of peppers. Astounded at the vastness and variety,...
16:15 Sun 23rd Aug 20203 answers, last by scorpiojo 17:07 Sun 20th Sep 2020
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marval

How Long?

A middle aged man was tired of his job in the city and wanted a place where he could relax So he decided to go to the seaside and buy a house. He found the perfect house and was about to buy it when...
18:18 Sat 22nd Aug 20202 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:39 Sun 23rd Aug 2020
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marval

Books

I have written a book about wind systems of the world. It is saved in my drafts. I am looking for a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes, but the library only has manuals. There was a third off all...
21:40 Mon 10th Aug 20205 answers, last by Cloverjo 22:00 Mon 10th Aug 2020
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marval

I Love

I love “The Importance of being Earnest.” I am absolutely Wilde about it....
19:42 Sat 08th Aug 20206 answers, last by Chipchopper 20:30 Sun 09th Aug 2020

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