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marval

1321 to 1340 of 3998

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marval

My Cousin

My cousin's fruit stand at the local market was burnt down by vandals. I've never seen a mango so meloncholy before....
17:16 Fri 05th Jun 20154 answers, last by marval 17:30 Fri 05th Jun 2015
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marval

I Had

I had a dream that I was driving down the motorway in my car whilst making pancakes. All night tossing and turning....
16:47 Fri 05th Jun 20156 answers, last by marval 17:01 Fri 05th Jun 2015
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marval

I Feel

I feel bad for my maths teacher as he got in a fight last night at a pub. It's a sin cos he got tanned....
21:58 Thu 04th Jun 20156 answers, last by excelsior-1 16:32 Fri 05th Jun 2015
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marval

Found

I have found out an interesting fact. Going into a restaurant dressed as a lobster can land you in hot water....
18:45 Thu 04th Jun 20155 answers, last by Psybbo 18:57 Thu 04th Jun 2015
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marval

I Spent

I have just spent the day up a mountain, standing on a sheer cliff ledge. I love acting the goat....
18:47 Wed 03rd Jun 20154 answers, last by magicmick 16:05 Thu 04th Jun 2015
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marval

I Have

I have just dropped my packet of biscuits from the top of a ten storey building. Crumbs....
16:32 Tue 02nd Jun 20154 answers, last by marval 16:38 Tue 02nd Jun 2015
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marval

Naked

My friend has been invited to a naked wedding. He came within an inch of being best man. I have a house in West Africa, but I haven't Benin for a while. My dad is a former postman living in Germany...
18:04 Sun 31st May 20152 answers, last by Quoi 21:40 Sun 31st May 2015
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marval

The Other Day

The other day I was offered a free puppetry lesson. Unfortunately there were strings attached....
14:48 Sun 31st May 2015
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marval

I Went

I went for an audition the other day to play the Invisible woman. The director told me he couldn't really see me in the role, so I got it....
16:45 Sat 30th May 20152 answers, last by bookbinder 22:02 Sat 30th May 2015
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marval

Ever Since

Ever since my experiments with radiation turned me into a voucher. I have been looking for a way to redeem myself....
21:08 Fri 29th May 20153 answers, last by Canary42 06:48 Sat 30th May 2015
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marval

I Saw

I saw some people giving the police around of an applause in South London today. I thought, theres no need to Clapham...
18:53 Thu 28th May 20153 answers, last by marval 18:59 Thu 28th May 2015
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marval

My Friend

My friend came over to my house earlier and I showed him my collection of music magazines. After he left I noticed that a few had gone missing. In future I'll keep my friends close and my NMEs even...
22:10 Wed 27th May 20152 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:31 Thu 28th May 2015
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marval

My Son

My son has become a professional DJ as of late. He is doing really well for himself. I'm just not sure about the kind of people he mixes with these days...
18:26 Wed 27th May 20156 answers, last by jim360 22:23 Thu 28th May 2015
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marval

Recipe

I was going to have some friends round later, so I figured I'd cook a meal. I found a dish that looked promising. In a pan, heat 1 cup of D until boiling, reduce heat and let simmer. After 5 minutes...
15:49 Wed 27th May 20151 answer, last by excelsior-1 15:58 Wed 27th May 2015
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marval

Just Wanted

A deacon walks into a crowded room and screams "fire." As the people run out he says "I'm kidding, I Just wanted to deacon-jest the place"...
22:33 Tue 26th May 20152 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:17 Wed 27th May 2015
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marval

Well You Live And Learn

I have been doing a bit of searching on the internet, and discovered something I hadn't heard of. Apparently you can get sex bolts, a chart here if you don't believe me....
22:16 Tue 26th May 201540 answers, last by Mags22 20:02 Wed 27th May 2015
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marval

A Date

I went on a date last night, with a man who was obssessed with nuts. All I got was a pecan the cheek....
21:40 Tue 26th May 201536 answers, last by retrocop 22:15 Tue 26th May 2015
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marval

My Boss

My boss told me to make a film about something which holds paper together. Unfortunately, I only showed him a few clips...
19:36 Tue 26th May 20157 answers, last by Psybbo 19:52 Tue 26th May 2015
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marval

Never Take

Never take your nasal decongestant to the capital of Iceland. It'll wreck your Vick....
14:55 Mon 25th May 20153 answers, last by bookbinder 16:30 Mon 25th May 2015
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marval

I Was

I was trying to hold a map of a French town in my hand. The trouble is I kept dropping it. It was Toulouse....
14:27 Mon 25th May 201512 answers, last by McMouse 15:49 Tue 26th May 2015

1321 to 1340 of 3998

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