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marval

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jaycee401

child maintenance

my partner received a letter from his estranged wifes solicitor saying she wants an amicable divorce on the grounds of breakdown of marriage, the letter sated she would pay for it and wanted nothing...
10:54 Sat 18th Jul 200910 answers, last by tmelw 06:37 Fri 02nd Jul 2021
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marval

Odd prescription

A respectable woman went into a chemists shop, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide.' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you...
23:06 Thu 16th Jul 20099 answers, last by devil99 07:52 Sat 18th Jul 2009
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devilspawn

The unlikliest instruction on a packet

"Best before date: .... Rohypnol" As said by Frankie Boyle tonight on "Mock The Week" Whats the strangest thing instruction you have seen on a packet/box/instruction manual?
21:54 Thu 16th Jul 200930 answers, last by devilspawn 00:48 Fri 17th Jul 2009
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mccfluff

i bought some custard

but i really wanted milk, anyone know how i can extract the milk fromt he custard?
13:01 Thu 16th Jul 200931 answers, last by sn�gs 17:47 Thu 16th Jul 2009
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marval

Alternate meanings

1. Coffee - The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted - Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate - To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade -...
12:02 Thu 16th Jul 20092 answers, last by marval 12:06 Thu 16th Jul 2009
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marval

A Mothers Intuition

Jim invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal; his mother couldn't help but notice how lovely Jim's flat mate, Angie, was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the...
23:19 Tue 14th Jul 20093 answers, last by marval 10:39 Thu 16th Jul 2009
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marval

Regular at the watering hole

An Irish man walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and...
19:39 Wed 15th Jul 20092 answers, last by marval 10:36 Thu 16th Jul 2009
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EDDIE51

Eskimo

An Eskimo was paddling his canoe down the river when he capsized. He managed to swim to the river bank and even managed to drag his canoe back as well. The canoe was dripping wet so he tipped out as...
21:43 Wed 15th Jul 20095 answers, last by HillyHugger 16:22 Thu 16th Jul 2009
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clare6875

Daily Express - Monday

27d Diocese of the Pope as Bishop of Rome (4,3) _ _ L _ S _ _ 21d Impure mixture of metal sulphides produced during the smelting of sulphide ores, especially copper and nickel (5) M _ T _ _ 32d In...
20:30 Wed 15th Jul 20093 answers, last by Pentalpha8 20:35 Wed 15th Jul 2009
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NoMercy

I'd do anything....

for a nice big glass of wine right now....
19:16 Wed 15th Jul 200921 answers, last by Drisgirl 14:58 Thu 16th Jul 2009
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pericat

Follow up

Hi all, I posted the other day about my blood tests and I have just got the results. All tests were good except for the Elisa factor ?? which is indicative of inflammation and is supposed to be...
14:20 Wed 15th Jul 20098 answers, last by pericat 00:14 Thu 16th Jul 2009
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marval

Never upset your nurse

A stuck-up lawyer had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have...
23:11 Mon 13th Jul 20095 answers, last by marval 11:00 Wed 15th Jul 2009
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chrispybacon

You Magazine

12a - First name of waitress beguiled by Pinkie Brown in Brighton Rock by Graham Greene. (4) _ O _ E ....and yes I did ask this earlier but the question and answer(s),_if any, appear to have...
16:58 Tue 14th Jul 20094 answers, last by Catron 17:04 Tue 14th Jul 2009
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logic

is this the best quote of the day,?

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.....
12:14 Tue 14th Jul 200911 answers, last by wasp 13:23 Tue 14th Jul 2009
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marval

A New Bride Cooks

Dear Diary: Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It is fun to cook for Dan. Today I made angel food cake using Watkins Vanilla Extract for extra flavouring. The recipe said,...
17:00 Fri 10th Jul 20092 answers, last by marval 13:03 Tue 14th Jul 2009
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China-Doll

ET Poll.

Dwafish, baggy skinned, boggley eyed, dracula fingered, sinister looking character in terribly dull film or much beloved alien in a classic 1980's (?) movie? Am I really the only person who was realy...
11:22 Tue 14th Jul 200936 answers, last by ReallyLegend 14:39 Tue 14th Jul 2009
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MWB

The curse of the diamond

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it. "This is the Klopman diamond," she...
08:54 Tue 14th Jul 20095 answers, last by Ishaque 14:58 Mon 09th Jan 2023
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marval

His first time

He laid her on the table, so white and clean and bare His forehead wet with beads of sweat, he rubbed her here and there He touched her neck and then her breast, then drooling felt her thigh The slit...
14:32 Mon 13th Jul 20093 answers, last by marval 12:50 Tue 14th Jul 2009
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loggy01

Nausea after general anaesthetic

I am severely sick after a general anaesthetic and am due to have one soon for eye surgery. When I have been into hospital before I have told the Anaesthetist but nothing seems to help. Someone once...
12:42 Tue 14th Jul 200922 answers, last by DEN53 19:06 Tue 14th Jul 2009
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joggerjayne

favourite movie character EVER

Has to be Holly Golightly from Breakfast At Tiffany's. Holly is a complete and utter joy, from beginning to end. I could never get tired of watching Breakfast At Tiffany's, just for Audrey Hepburn's...
22:22 Mon 13th Jul 200961 answers, last by ReallyLegend 11:41 Tue 14th Jul 2009

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