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McMouse

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McMouse

All Together Now.....

Oh! ye'll take the Aye road and I'll take the No road, And ye'll not leave the Union afore ye; But me and my true love Will ever meet again On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond....
10:42 Fri 19th Sep 20145 answers, last by murraymints 10:56 Fri 19th Sep 2014
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McMouse

Condom History:

And yet another interesting piece of history: In 1272, the Arabic Islamic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the...
08:55 Mon 08th Sep 201412 answers, last by carrust 19:14 Mon 08th Sep 2014
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McMouse

Positive Attitude Explained

Late in the night he regained consciousness. He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him....
10:16 Fri 29th Aug 20142 answers, last by marval 16:21 Fri 29th Aug 2014
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McMouse

A Heart-Warming Story.

A small grandson got lost in Sainsburys, he approached a uniformed security guard and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" "The guard asked, "What's he like?" The little fellow hesitated for a moment and...
09:31 Wed 27th Aug 20145 answers, last by marval 16:08 Fri 29th Aug 2014
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McMouse

Lifes Journey

A group of chaps, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts, and wore...
09:17 Wed 20th Aug 20147 answers, last by Old_Geezer 15:08 Wed 20th Aug 2014
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McMouse

As I Age

When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could complain to the manager about this security rubbish, I did just as she...
10:12 Mon 18th Aug 2014
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McMouse

Watford

Had the dubious pleasure of visiting Watford yesterday and witnessed the shocking behaviour of some young children and their parents. Should breeding permits be introduced?
09:23 Tue 12th Aug 201423 answers, last by ummmm 10:23 Tue 12th Aug 2014
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McMouse

Confucius He Say

Man who fish in another man's well often catch crabs.
09:16 Mon 11th Aug 201411 answers, last by Peter Pedant 18:46 Mon 11th Aug 2014
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McMouse

Divorce Vs. Murder

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the...
11:24 Fri 08th Aug 20146 answers, last by Peaspeculiars 20:57 Fri 08th Aug 2014
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McMouse

Pragmatic Of What?

A Jewish man and his wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a long open mouthed kiss and says to him,...
08:43 Thu 07th Aug 20145 answers, last by losgigs 18:00 Tue 19th Aug 2014
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McMouse

The Great War

I support forces charities and always attend the local Remembrance Sunday parade. However, I just can't get my head round all this commemoration of the start of such a dreadful war.
10:16 Tue 05th Aug 201417 answers, last by Zeuhl 12:37 Tue 05th Aug 2014
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McMouse

The Rabbit

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, " Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please ? " The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese...
13:36 Mon 04th Aug 201411 answers, last by tigerlelly 19:33 Fri 08th Aug 2014
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McMouse

Sense Of Proportion

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Señor Roy? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise...
08:57 Mon 04th Aug 20142 answers, last by marval 18:05 Mon 04th Aug 2014
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McMouse

Irish Ghost Story

This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road...
09:03 Thu 24th Jul 20143 answers, last by Tilly2 15:43 Thu 24th Jul 2014
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McMouse

Hypnosis

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" The husband asks, ''What happened?" His wife replies,...
08:50 Mon 14th Jul 20144 answers, last by Hypognosis 11:01 Tue 15th Jul 2014
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McMouse

In Your Dreams

I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said. "Sorry," said the fairy, "but I am not allowed to grant that type of wish." "Fine," I said, "then I want to...
10:23 Fri 11th Jul 20143 answers, last by marval 16:50 Fri 11th Jul 2014
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McMouse

Jock

A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!" Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the heck..., I'll treat her!" So,...
08:24 Wed 09th Jul 20146 answers, last by lady-janine 15:20 Thu 10th Jul 2014
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McMouse

Venison...

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were...
09:16 Wed 02nd Jul 20149 answers, last by Baldric 21:37 Wed 02nd Jul 2014
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McMouse

Headache Cure

Husband walks into bedroom stark naked. Wife says "What its that white powder on your penis?" He replies "It's aspirin for your headache. Do you want it orally or as a suppository?"...
14:25 Mon 30th Jun 20141 answer, last by excelsior-1 16:55 Mon 30th Jun 2014
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McMouse

I Only Do First-Aid Now

When I was young I decided to go to Medical School. At the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect....
11:12 Fri 27th Jun 20148 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:03 Fri 27th Jun 2014

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