By popular demand (not to mention the blackmail and threats of physical violence) I have been asked to use my considerable talents to provide AB horoscopes. I will be using the old Yorkshire methods...
A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for farting and fluid retention, G is...
My partner got a package delivered the other morning , containing a book. I asked her what it was - she said a copy of the kamasutra , but she wouldn't show me . I found it under the pillow this...
Famous Leos include Napoleon Bonaparte, Mussolini, Princess Margaret and Mick Jagger. All of these have typical Leo attributes, namely being exceedingly short and full of their own self importance....
Whenever there is a tragedy that involves a school child dying in an accident or any tragic circumstances, there is always a reporter at their school saying that the other children are 'struggling' to...
Have a good laugh at these
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2295651/Lost-translation-Hilarious-advice-signs-foreign-airports--English-leaves-little-desired.html...
One of my bug bears I suppose but I'm old school, trained to cycle on the road properly and obey road rules etc. Anyway the other day I was walking home and some numpty on a bike got right up behind...
I have just replied to an email from a work colleague and signed it off with:- Regards, Tilly. It's too late to recall it. She'll be very puzzled when she reads it. Is this the beginning of the end?...
I've got a "set" of socks (yeah, yeah, I know) from the men's bit of Next or M&S or somewhere. It was a pack of seven pairs with the days of the week on the bottom of the foot. Whenever I wear them, I...
Yesterday, after a light lunch I started having stomach pains which is very rare for me. I felt nauseus too. I had a light dinner as I didn't really fancy much then the stomach pains worsened. I had a...
Famous Cancerians include Ghengis Khan, Richard Branson, Lizzie Borden (axe murderer) and Barbara Cartland. All were very successful in their chosen field....but wildly delusional. Cancerians have...
I went to a new cafe for lunch yesterday. The owner has two dogs which were freely roaming in both the kitchen and the customer area, and occasionally jumped up at the tables. My friend found two dog...
Over the last two weeks I have had a succession of cold sores travelling around my lips. None of them have been too bad as I zap them with Zovirax as soon as they appear. I currently have two, one on...
....or am I just absent minded (dangerously so)? last week 1. left my handbag on a hook in a changing room, only realised when I needed to pay 2. left my handbag on a shelf in same shop while poking...