Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a 'power beverage' suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man...
After watching this programme, I'm glad my parents instilled into me the adages 'Never spend beyond your means' and 'If you can't afford it, don't buy it'....
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens and when he told...
Farmer Brown goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. On the first day the young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says, "Ok, old fella, time to retire." The...
How much do you love your house? Would you pass on $1 million to stay put like the owner of this 108 year old farmhouse which led to the movie 'Up' being made......
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They walked over to the weight guesser, and he guessed 120 pounds. She...
I apologise for this one in advance..... :-) Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert for weeks. At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see that it's draped with...
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie. The genie was very grumpy and said, "OK, OK. You released me from the...
Maria just got married, and being a traditional Catholic Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was quite understandably nervous. However, her...
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking...
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the...
My treat when I was a child every Saturday was to go with my older sister to the library with a shiny 50p piece and choose 2 video tapes from the National geographic section they had. We absolutely...
Fox Poop! Th Hound had a wonderful time this morning rolling about in it and completely ignoring me. Now, after a spray down with the garden hose and lots of lavender dog wipes later - he still...
A pregnant woman from Oklahoma gets in a car accident and falls into a coma. When she wakes up, she sees she's no longer pregnant and she panics and asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies,...
Riding the favourite at Cheltenham, a jockey was well ahead of the field. Suddenly he was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages. He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back...
Two Scousers riding along the East Lancs Road on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells...
At Sydney University, there were four students taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.These four friends...
A wealthy couple had plans to go to an evening ball. So they advised their butler that they were giving him the evening off to do as he pleased since they would be out quite late. The couple went to a...
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of...
Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic anything...
