A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make...
Further to Ratter15's inspirational thread on Aspergers syndrome, I thought this story about Mandy Sellars might be of interest too. We sometimes concern ourselves about the little imperfections we...
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of what the afterlife was like. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long and happy life, the...
A member of the Democratic party, recently deceased, approached the Pearly Gates. After exchanging pleasantries with St. Peter, he is led into the receiving area and handed a clock which is not...
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant...
In the hospital, the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lays gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,"...
Sounds best in a Northern Irish accent: Paddy walks into a chemist & asks for a deodorant. "Ball or Aerosol?" asks the assistant. "No, it's for under me arms" replies Paddy!
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman says "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence," he said,...
A large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity, "You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits...
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed,...
The Rabbit A man is driving along a highway & sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The...
Could anyone tell me where I can find the music to the current Ford Focus advert please? I've looked on You Tube, but can't seem to find it. I can't look on LimeWire as I don't know the name of it....
I think I just heard my husband right.... A few days ago Terry Wogan said he was listening to the Jeremy Vine show & a correspondent phoned in saying his name was Drew Peacock! No one at the studio...
New Telephone Voice Mail Greeting. Wouldn't it be pretty amazing, if this caught on, all over the Country...? "GOOD MORNING & WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES" "Press '1' if you speak English". "Press '2'...
They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company. After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his...
Johnny fancied a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else... One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said: "I'll give you a ?100 for sex", but the girl said "NO"....