I feel an urge to buy some jasmine scented eau de parfum. Can anyone suggest a brand or two so I can have a look. I usually wear Vera Wang 'Look' which I believe has now gone out of production so I...
Aussie brandishing a revolver walks into his busy local bar and yells :
"Who's been screwing my wife?"
Voice from the back of the bar shouts :
"You don't have enough ammo, mate!"...
Thought I would do some gardening - ha-ha! Only out there a couple of minutes when a recalcitrant weed made me fall and unfortunately I hit my rib cage on a low wall and have broken a couple of ribs....
A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. ' 'What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 'Type?' inquires the...
Here is the pattern for the little jumper for the Fish and Chip Babies. Double Knitting Wool and any oddment will do - stripes are O.K. knitted all in one and best not to use white as it may never get...
A refuse collector is driving along a street in Sydney picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor. He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of...
Last night, I woke for the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a man sneaking through the next door neighbour's garden. Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head...
I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had...
Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Susie, who created the...
I joined AB on 29th February 2008. That is five years ago. Or should I say five years tomorrow, although it is 1st March? Very confusing. Must be awful to be born on a Leap year's extra day. If the...
What's love got to do with it ? My friend's wife being the romantic sort, just sent him a text. It read:- If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are...
Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The...
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to...
Over five thousand years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land." Nearly 50 years ago, Harold Wilson...
Disclosed: The official Airport Screening Result for Full Body Scans at Heathrow Airport. October 2012 Statistics On Airport Screening From The Home Office Terrorists Discovered 0 Transvestites 133...
The first testicular guard (“box”) was used in cricket in 1874 And the first helmet was used in 1974. Just imagine, it took 100 years for men to realise that their brains could be as important as...
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another Economic Stimulus payment. This is, indeed a very exciting programme, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is an Economic...
A Chinese guy goes into a Jewish-owned establishment to buy black bras, size 38. The Jewish store keeper, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it...
A group of chaps, all age 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous, with tight...
