The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You ba*stard!" The judge says, "You're...
When the need to break wind is one that arises Remember that fa*rts come in all shapes and sizes. There is scarcely a sound to accompany some While others erupt with great noise from your bum. The...
Einstein was born March 14, 1879. He would be 134 if he were alive today. Few people remember that he married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919. At the time he stated...
A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs. The sign reads: SEX FROGS Only $20 each! Comes with COMPLETE...
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began...
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty...
I know this quiz is not due until the end of December so I also know there is plenty of time to spare but I only have one question that I cannot do and it is driving me up the wall (and over the top)....
I am going to plant a rambling rose in the front garden and train it along the front wall. It has thorns on it and what I want to know is, if someone decides to pick a rose or touch the rosebush and...
One day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return, he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead! Harry was...
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a...
In a Tottenham church on Sunday morning the preacher said,"Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." With that, Leroy got in line, and...
After landing my new job as a B & Q greeter - a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ...... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman...
Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to his first year medical students. Realising this was not the most riveting subject, the...
The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share...
Only 4 to go and not bad out of 100! I have racked my brains forever trying to solve them. 51. Second letter from Irish capital to let in November (6 letters) 55. Right away cry over spilt milk. (5...
Last one on this one - 23. For the condemned prisoner and I think it might be Death Cell, but am not sure. Has anyone got a better idea? Seems a bit macabre, which is why I don't like it. Thanks for...
I want to plant a climbing rose to climb up a small metal archway, over the top and down the other side, or even two, one each side would be fine. I would like it to be scented and if possible to have...
Subject: SCAM This is serious. Please BEWARE! Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into Sainsburys for a bit of shopping has turned out to be...
On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said,...