One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose. 'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean to...
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.' 'Mrs. Sanders, please.' 'Speaking.' 'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his...
A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar turns to the astonished patrons and says.... "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's...
Is there a way to set up a shortcut, perhaps with an Alt-Funtion key, to type out a preset word/sentence, something like your email address or an often used phrase. It is possible in a word processor,...
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there?...
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied...
In my younger days when I was forced to go to church the only redeeming intervals were when we sang hymns and I let rip with full gusto, no doubt much to the annoyance of the 9 or 10 rows nearest to...
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." "Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"...
Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them...
I'm bored so here goes... Are there any religious folks on Answerbank who believe the Noah's Ark account as in Genesis? I mean, only 6 people left 6000 years ago, and some insects are parthenogenic so...
FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, Listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles...
TWO ELDERLY GENTS DECIDED THEY WERE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD...
A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I...
# How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? - On the rocks # What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks # What's the fastest way to get off an Italian...
An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball...
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist...