BiddyGrotto

[Robinia]

It seems we're not getting any changes on AB 'til after xmas so I've set up a grotto for us. Sorry it's a bit like a scene from Great Expectations but I've sprayed a few cobwebs silver & blown the dust off me doileys so please come in & sit down.
What do all the biddies/grumps want to find in their wrinkly stockings this year then? Do you like all this festivity or will you be the grumpy gran/grandpa from hell this year?
Please feel free to take a present out of the bran tub as you leave by the way. Contents may be unidentifiable....oops sorry...be varied.

[jno]

If you need to wrap up warm, I have a little frock that should protect you thoroughly. (I think you can enlarge it to study the workmanship by clicking on the bottom right-hand corner).

[netibiza]

I cannot believe what was going on here last night, and smudge posting dirty piccies, well I can only assume in was something in the biddychoccy drink. Now take your punishments like good children and we'll say no more about it......

http://www.archivist.f2s.com/cpa/stateschools/cartoon.jpg

[Robinia]

....Tentatively creeping in wearing gas mask ......

haha jno - one size fits all??
I've ordered one - I think I'm going to be the belle of the ball at the knitting circle's Valentine dance

[netibiza]

Looks more like something I'd eat mmm yummy

[netibiza]

Oh sorry I've just enlarged it and it's made of condoms so ignore my last remark yuk. "and something for the weekend sir" no worries if she's wearing that dress.

[Robinia]

IMPORTANT NOTICE

WILL ALL VISITORS PLEASE READ

this

[netibiza]

Oh that did make me laugh - it's so sweet.

[VINNY100_2]

Woof::Woof....Wake me up when the spring comes...(:)

woof

[VINNY100_2]

Afternoon Biddys.

Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and kept the same tag-line...

Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it.

Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.
Minstrels Condoms -melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load.

Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough.
Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop

Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no comment required.
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.

Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault condoms - size really does matter!

(:)Biddycondoms-um...have we taken them balloons down yet?

[Robinia]

good grief what is this grotto turning into?????

Vinny all the balloons were used on New Years Eve - don't you remember this ???? ( loud music)

[Robinia]

That's it - I've had enough...Spot the outright lie in this phrase......
self-cleaning oven.....

yeah right - the horrible rough grey bits maybe that I can't bear to touch anyway 'cos it sets my teeth on edge....and only if you want to have it at a squillion degrees C for 7 hrs every week.....but what about all all the bits right at the back????....those that are so sharp that my best spontex rubber gloves, not to mention my finger ends, are totally shredded.
Well, only one hand actually 'cos I was holding a torch in the other as the light doesn't shine to the back of the oven....and anyway the whole light fitting blew last week & tripped all my electrics so I'm working by lamplight in the kitchen.
My knees, hips & neck are killing me ......

oh yeah ....and the weather's crp

stop laughing..........

[Robinia]

.........and now Petula Clarke's on the radio.. .........grrrrr..........can't stand that woman......

where's me Deep Purple??.....I've got some serious head bangin' to do......

[Jude123]

Dont envy you Robinia cleaning ovens Ugh!! I hate it. And you're right -weather is crap round here!

Lol at Vinny's Condom Sale!!

Had a shock last night. One of my glass light fittings smashed to the floor in my bedroom and I was downstairs. Wondered what the heck was going on til I went upstairs. Switched the light on and smoke started puthering (where did that word come from) out. Thank goodness it didn't last long and there were no flames, I had visions of me sending for the fire brigade. Anyway sorted it and now have to buy a new shade. All these things are send to try us aren't they. :o)

[VINNY100_2]

When you're alone and life is making you lonely
You can always go - downtown
When you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know - downtown
Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose...

blimey that torch nearly hit me head>>>>(:)

[Robinia]

How strange and scary Jude - must be something with the leccy round here. It's probably the engineer that we left on the grotto roof all xmas getting his revenge.
Can you just bob down a minute please while I get a good aim at Vinny..........

>>>> jif >>>>> water >>>>> bowl >>>>> lamp >>>>

d'oh that was stupid....now I'm in the dark again....

[jno]

should've called in the fire brigade Jude... remember, many hands make the light work

[Robinia]

......scrabbling under the sink to see if there's anything left to throw at jno for that terrible joke.......

>>>>>>>>rusty brillo>>>>>>>>>

[netibiza]

I've got the fire brigade for you.......

helpontheway

[Jude123]

Thanks for the advice jno good joke!

Neti Are you takin' the micky!!

[gessoo]

Jude 123 You really made me laugh!!! I can just imagine the headlines in the local papers.

'58 year old woman gives birth to Triplets'. How can I push a pram and use my zimmer frame at the same time!!!

Shaneystar. Apparently, my gorgeous doctor tells me that osteoporosis and osteoarthritis are not related in any way, so don't worry. I just happen to have both!! However, I am rather glad it has been diagnosed, even though it was a painful way to get a diagnosis. Will now have to take pills for life, but it could have been worse if I had not found out and fallen over and broken a hip, etc. in ten years time.

Little Poem for the Biddettes:

For all the girls!

When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn't hold my tummy in
To wear a belted dress.

But now that I am older,
I've set my body free;
There's comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.

And how about those pantyhose-
They're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on
The crotch is at my knees?

I need to wear these glasses
As the prints were getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago
I know that I was taller.

Though my hair has turned to grey
And my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me,
Just the outside's changed a bit.