BiddyGrotto

[Robinia]

It seems we're not getting any changes on AB 'til after xmas so I've set up a grotto for us. Sorry it's a bit like a scene from Great Expectations but I've sprayed a few cobwebs silver & blown the dust off me doileys so please come in & sit down.
What do all the biddies/grumps want to find in their wrinkly stockings this year then? Do you like all this festivity or will you be the grumpy gran/grandpa from hell this year?
Please feel free to take a present out of the bran tub as you leave by the way. Contents may be unidentifiable....oops sorry...be varied.

[Robinia]

Vinny in case you haven't found ya specs yet that said tanner not tenner - I didn't live in Mayfair.

[Jude123]

My sentiments exactly. I love Christmas and all that goes with it including the carol singers when they do it properly.

I thought I was the only biddy that remembered the tanner!!!

[Robinia]

Some of us on here will remember farthings...getting ready to duck. I've got some half p's somewhere so if little Johnny tries to get away with half a line I'll give him one of those - better still I've got some old ha'pennies - that'll fool him!! (Knowing my luck he'll be a coin expert & it'll be worth squillions!)

[VINNY100_2]

We use to go carol singing ....one night we decided to walk 4 miles to the posh part of bournemouth(east avenue)all the stars lived there in them days.went up to jack hawkins house..sang a couple of carols..rung the bell..he came down in this glass lift on the left hand side of the building...and gave a tanner to share between 3 of us...!um...we soon went back to the poorer part..of town..and made loads...!then straight up to the chippy ...nice warm bag of chips and a bottle of cherryade...(:)now this lavy cleaning..?what if me beard gets wet when i lean over the pan..!(:)

[VINNY100_2]

IMPORTANT NOTICE

The lav is out of order untill further notice...

frozen pipes im afraid..please feel free to use the EDs pink one...( :)

[VINNY100_2]

And if the ED wont let the Biddys use her's.Ive got one in the car park...(:)

here

[gessoo]

Totally mad the lot of you!!!!!! Must now get back to making me chicken curry. See you soon if not before.

[shaneystar2]

That reminds me of the lav an aunt of mine had who lived in the country. My Dad and I used to cycle over there on a Saturday as they had a smallholding and we used to pick goosegogs and loganberries.I was a bit wobbly on my bike and always used to manage to fall off into a hedge near a pigsty !! They had this dry toilet up the yard with two holes and lids with buckets underneath.I used to hang on until we got home again !!
You will have to tuck your beard down your jumper for the lav duty Vinny..no wriggling out of it now..we've got the Vim ready !

[Robinia]

squealing with laughter at Vinny's pic...next door must think I've got lucky.........

Can you do weelies on that Vinny?

[Jude123]

I can hear you from here Robinia! :o)

[Dolly1308]

Dolly reporting for lav duty ,Robinia .No takers for the Christmas crackers ! Oh dear a notice on the door " Out of Order " it's frozen over but it looks a bit hairy . Oh Vinny I've found your beard just hung it on the Christmas tree to dry out ! the candles should do the trick . ( oh no smell of burning hair ,whips beard off tree at great peril to myself ,stamps on it to put fire out ,leaves on table .Going home now before Vinny sees his beard ) Got my pressie out of bran tub ,pr.of fishnets with big hole in 'em ,I bet neti put them in there and took the good ones with only a little hole in 'em .

[netibiza]

Good heavens Dolly you're up and about early. Yes of course I swapped the tights - I was in desperate need. Tell Jude that I never do toilet cleaning - it's just not my thing. Shaneystar over here you can still use the "squat and drop" which are holes in the ground - if you're lucky and no I don't use them either. Hope all the Biddybankers are well and happy today. Bit chilly so have tucked bosoms into knickers for warmth.Brings tears to the eyes just imagining!!!!

[Robinia]

Morning Dolly, neti & all! 'Strewth it's cold here today!! Think I'll have to put some bicycle clips round the bottom of me crimplene trews to stop the draught going up.

'Squat & drop'....'neti with her buzooms tucked in her tights'...??? What lovely images for a Monday morning....I'm trying to create an ambience here ....And who's put TCP in the oil burner btw? Breathing in the fumes doesn't cure those 'little problems' you know.

[Dolly1308]

I remember farthings Robinia and I remember when a pint of milk cost threehalfpence but I'm not admitting to anything else !

[Jude123]

Hi all, just got back from town. Finished all my present buying at last. Just food to buy now.I can get that from where I work as I get 15% off over Christmas. Then is'tback to 10% after.

Sorry neti about the lav misunderstanding. I did offer but apparently it's out of order now!!

Going to pick up my new car tomorrow - can't wait. It's not brand new but the newest I've ever had. 3 year old Focus. That's my present to myself!! Finally got rid of my VW banger.....

[Robinia]

Dolly we have ways of making you talk!! Quick, while I hold her down, someone look at the label in Dolly's vest to see how old she is!!

That's fantastic Jude, but erm, what time will you be on the road tomorrow? Just bear in mind it takes me a while to get over the crossings with me trolley. No trying to beat the lights thank you!

Now who's got the toddies? I'm soooo tired?? I've fallen asleep in Vinny's Portaloo twice....not a pretty sight for the builders over the road when they discovered they'd towed me away.

[shaneystar2]

Here I be with the toddies. Mr S .has now got a cold .All say bless !!! Any one would think he was dying! I offered to make him a hot toddy but he has sulked of to bed with that ..I am a man and don't need medicine attitude..so he will have to get on with it .How he thinks I manage with this washboard and a mangle in a cold scullery is beyond me ! And all the cleaning out of fireplaces on my hands and knees.Talk about dishwash hands.....!! I need some Cremola handcream!

[VINNY100_2]

You think youv'e had a hard time shaney...Ive just done me first stint cleaning out the Biddylav....somebody was in there for 3 hours this morning...went of for me tea-break..comeback...and there were nail marks each side of the ..Porcelaine...somebody was gripping on for dear life.!..and when i looked over into the pan...Urrgh.!..there was what i can only descibe as...the Loch.ness..monster...!..it had more humps than a dozen..camels..and would it flush..NO..!but looking on the bright side..the roses in the biddy garden ..will do well next year..( :)

[shaneystar2]

Oh dear Vinny ..you poor old chap...we can't have " Cruelty to Vinnys"...so you had better have a hot toddy ! Sip it nicely now..we don't want any dribbling down your beard!

[VINNY100_2]

Sluurrrpp...em....cor thats tasty shaney....now..does ..anybody know where i can get an electric toilet brush....and a gas mask....just have a quick look down the Anderson shelter....sure me dad.left one in here somewhere...( :)