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Trying To Get Help For Elderly Mother
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A social worker said I would have to be assessed as to why I couldn't do it. Is this normal?
Answers
Psyb....no matter how many carers I arranged... whatever I did to help was no good at all.....no pleasing her....she was horrid and nasty. The visits...the cooking and cleaning wore me down. Like you I felt responsible and guilty if I couldn't do everything.. ..but it came to a head when she tried to stab a carer with hidden scissors. In the end I stopped...
19:50 Mon 20th Apr 2015
I was just joking - but seriously, sometime there are those who, whatever you do, they demand more - i.e. there is no satisfaction. There comes a point when you say ' no more'.......all our patience can be stretched from time to time and we need our breaks, be they one hour, one day, one week....and maybe that has come.
I'm up here, gness, at the Nobody, two nights of peace and having just sunk a very nice Lagavulin 16 (that would have slappy drooling) - but knowing that, on Wednesday pm, I have a major fight brewing over a 24 hr heart meter to be fitted to the mater, after that collapse of hers the week before last. It won't be pretty but then, hopefully, I'll be that little bit fresher.
In that, Psybbs, may lie half of my success - it's knowing the battles to pick and those that can be deflected, or even lost, and, as gness says, everyone is different and at a whole span of stages. Give me an e-mail if there is anything you want to ask or if I can help support you......xx
I'm up here, gness, at the Nobody, two nights of peace and having just sunk a very nice Lagavulin 16 (that would have slappy drooling) - but knowing that, on Wednesday pm, I have a major fight brewing over a 24 hr heart meter to be fitted to the mater, after that collapse of hers the week before last. It won't be pretty but then, hopefully, I'll be that little bit fresher.
In that, Psybbs, may lie half of my success - it's knowing the battles to pick and those that can be deflected, or even lost, and, as gness says, everyone is different and at a whole span of stages. Give me an e-mail if there is anything you want to ask or if I can help support you......xx
I wasn't being awkward, DT.....I just think we can't make ourselves do things because others do.
There are people who will move heaven and earth to care for their parent as you do....
Then there are those whose parent hasn't been nice or supportive through life and I see no reason to martyr ourselves because it's expected by society or relatives or by the authorities who should be giving help and not pretending they have to assess Psyb to see if she can do it....
That's just like the people who told me that when my mother's money ran out my brother and I would have to fund her.....luckily I knew that wasn't so but they will try it on...x
There are people who will move heaven and earth to care for their parent as you do....
Then there are those whose parent hasn't been nice or supportive through life and I see no reason to martyr ourselves because it's expected by society or relatives or by the authorities who should be giving help and not pretending they have to assess Psyb to see if she can do it....
That's just like the people who told me that when my mother's money ran out my brother and I would have to fund her.....luckily I knew that wasn't so but they will try it on...x