Is Being A Top In A Bdsm Relationship Really About Empowerment?

[rowanwitch]

Just thinking about this, a friend used to say she liked being dominant as she was able to work through a lot of bad stuff from her life She wouldn't switch roles because of early abuse but did say she enjoyed the responsibility for her partner. He used to say it was all about freedom, when you are completely disempowered in a safe space it is the nearest thing to total freedom. For me it was just a bit of a laugh between consenting adults. What do others think

[Mamyalynne]

There's surely no reason for anyone to leave over this or even have a major fall out - as stated it was started by a mature poster and although not everyone's ideal choice of chit chat will pass like all threads do.

[anneasquith]

Kva, " calling you out on it" :-)

[douglas9401]

You seem overwrought, I'll put it down to jetlag.
Goodnight

[anneasquith]

Interesting point Naomi .

[naomi24]

Sheesh!

[Jackdaw33]

Well said, Naomi. Good job I failed my Mod's exam!

[jim360]

Some people enjoy those things, and other people don't. As long as it involves consenting adults, though, then it's better not to be judgemental -- especially not in a thread that was, after all, meant to take the topic seriously.

For the record, I don't enjoy choke-related sex, or rape fantasies, and am not really into BDSM myself, or at least not the S&M-related aspects of it. But I'm not snobbish enough to judge others who are.

[anneasquith]

Jack. You could resit the exam ? :-)

[kvalidir]

No you're quite right Mamya there is no need to leave over this, but it isn't over this, this is just the latest in a string of chasing me (and others) around the site so that I have to be careful what I say, what I post about. I am made to feel as though, despite having been a member for 6 1/2 years, I somehow shouldn't be here with my life, my opinions and my experiences. I had some really lovely news recently, in fact two pieces of lovely news, and there are a lot of people here who are very nice I would have loved to have shared that with and then there are the others, and the certainty in my mind of how that news would be received by them stopped me posting it because I didn't want it to be tainted and spoken of snidely or nastily and spoiled, just as if I'm having a bad time I wouldn't post here either for precisely the same reasons.
I'm not jetlagged, I'm irritated. We were having a discussion as adults do, we weren't getting off on it ( another insult I see) and Anne you stirred and started this and had a pop at me the other day as well. Have you really nothing better to do?

[Mamyalynne]

As I said, it will pass, - there are times when all you say and do gets slated, been there.

Share your news with those you know will care, they matter.x

[naomi24]

Jim, I couldn’t give a hoot (and that's putting it mildly) what some people – you included – enjoy. If people want to talk about sexual depravity – and that’s what you’re talking about here – they should go elsewhere to talk about it. The AnswerBank isn’t the place for it.

[Jackdaw33]

One the one hand we are constantly reminded of what we say because minors use this site. On the other we have over 100 posts devoted to sexual perversion. I cannot reconcile the two.

[anneasquith]

Kva, no disrespect my dear, I don't nor did I ever spend a major part of my day on AB. You on the other hand do, which is fine , but do not lecture me. A bit of advice, sometimes things don't need to be posted on a public forum.goodnight .

[kvalidir]

There is nothing depraved or perverted about BDSM between consenting adults. Try it you might be a bit less uptight then :/

[kvalidir]

Oh glad I have your permission to be on here Anne, are you sure it's okay? I mean really? I could get a timer and limit myself, and i think you'll find it's not me lecturing you, it's rather the other way around. Sleep well.

[gness]

Kval....two things.......one is that most of the insults have come from folk who rarely, if at all, have a conversation here......never start anything interesting....or after making a point or two enter into a childish argument with another member that goes on and on.....best just ignore it......

The other is......I still have no idea about your good news and now there are two pieces of good news!!! I could sulk I suppose.... ;-)

[naomi24]

No? Losing consciousness, breaking skin, choking….all perfectly normal.

[kvalidir]

Between consenting adults? Yes.

[naomi24]

^That in response to kvalidir's // There is nothing depraved or perverted about BDSM between consenting adults. //