In A Quandary.

[melv16]

My neighbours 16yr old son was in their garden shed this afternoon.  He had 2 mates with him and they were smoking weed.

Do I tell his mother?

Say nothing?

Have a word with him?

Have a word with his 18yr old brother.

My worry is I might get repercussions from him; (vandalised property,  car or threats to me and my partner.)

[melv16]

Thanks for the replies. Having slept on it and discussing it with my partner,  I've decided to keep my mouth shut and see what happens. 

He's a good lad and definitely not a scrote. 

[naomi24]

Wise decision.  I'd forget it altogether.   Their lives are their own.

[barry1010]

I've seen many nostalgic threads on here by people hankering for 'the good old days' when we knew our neighbours, looked out for each other, got clipped round the ear when the neighbour complained to dad about your cheek.

Moaning that because people don't care anymore, turn a blind eye and don't want to get involved society has 'gone to pot' and people have no respect.

I'd have wanted to know if my children were smoking weed.

[bhg481]

barry - exactly. There is a world of difference between casually mentioning it to his mum/dad and letting it get serious and the police getting involved. If the parents think it doesn't matter, that's their choice and they can be responsible for any consequencies.

[naomi24]

The other side of the coin is that the parents might take umbrage resulting in neighbour conflict.  Personally, I would say if melv16 can smell it from next door, those parents can smell it too.

[bhg481]

naomi - a very valid point but, mentioned casually and carefully, I still feel that informing the neighbour is best with a further comment that you felt it best to tell them them before someone else informed the police.

[Khandro]

Ask yourself, "Why am I concerned?" or, "Am I concerned?" 

If you are concerned, "What am I concerned about?"

Then either act, or don't.

[davebro3]

//I've decided to keep my mouth shut and see what happens. //

Doesn't seem like melv intends to keep out of it.

[naomi24]

BHG, I definitely wouldn't mention the police!  That could be red rag to a bull!  

[barry1010]

It is possible to bring this up in a non-confrontional way, without judgement or accusation.  Not make a big thing of it.  

[bhg481]

Look on the bright side; if he ends up in trouble you'll be able to brag to all the neighbours that you knew about it all along.

[naomi24]

I wouldn't be doing that either.  

[bhg481]

naomi - Just for clarity, my last remark wasn't pointed at you.

[naomi24]

No worries, bhg.  I'm just adding my bit to the general conversation.

[Canary42]

A plethora of different answers, how do you decide?

Well, as I mentioned earlier, a lot depends on your relationahip with the people concerned.  And you need to know whether the mother is already aware or not -that could make a big difference to the way she deals with your interference.

Good luck with your decision/response.

[bhg481]

Canary - I think that's a wise comment. We're on good terms with all our neighbours so it would be easy for us to mention things casually. In the past we had a neighbour who would have told us exactly what he thought of us.

[melv16]

Looks like I'm damned if I do,  or damned if I don't.

I think I'll have a word with him when his mother's not there, and leave it at that.

[ladybirder]

That's not a bad idea melv.  Do let us know how you get on please.

[Countrylover]

Just stay out of it altogether.  It doesn't affect you.  

 

[pastafreak]

And what will you say? I think you are taking a big risk. If  the parents don't already know...you talking to the lad may just make him attempt to hide it more.

At least him doing it in the shed can still possibly be observed.

Maybe wait and see. If it happens a lot...then speak up.