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Why my man thinks hes' a man...

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Champagne | 12:12 Fri 08th Sep 2006 | Body & Soul
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1. OPENING JARS - I'm struggling. This is where he comes to the rescue.

2. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE - And all his mates cheer him. It doesn't mean he's popular, it just means his mates are pi$$ed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.

3. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table and 'sculling' two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out whilst I'm still sitting there with a full glass of wine. He's hard.

4. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - Especially every day to make him doubley-hard.

5. HE'S GOT A SCAR ON HIS FACE FROM A FIGHT
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I'm always confused Cas, hadn't you noticed?! ;0P

So what's the deal on directions as well? Cause I've yet to meet the guy who will ask for directions when lost. I've actually had the following conversation.

Me 'We're lost aren't we'
Him 'No, we're just not where we're meant to be'
Me 'We should ask for directions'
Him 'Why? It'll be round here somewhere'
Me 'But you just said we're not where we meant to be so how does that work'
Him 'I know where we are'

Stony silence followed while I sat shaking my head. We got where we were going an hour later when I got out of the car and aske for directions!
I have absolutely no idea what you mean China, no really, honestly..........ahem.

Directions are simple, you just drive round till you find the place.

Women always complicate things
lol China - and I thought it was just my guy that did that driving!! Once we had the Sat Nav on,a map on my lap and he STILL said he knew "a little short cut" ! We went 45 miles out of our way!! aaaggghhh.......
Bless em, wouldn't have them any other way really tho ;0)
at least you got there with the car in one piece. if one of you lot had been driving all the lights would have been smashed, there'd be a muckle scratch down the wing and the time u saved asking for directions would have been squandered by your futile attempts to parallel park in a space that would easily accomodate an 18 wheeler.
Hurray....help is at hand!!
at your service sir!!
Thanks, I was feeling lonely and a bit outnumbered
LFAO @ Stevie!

Hey hun!!! I can assure you I would do none of those things... I don't drive, that's a mans job ;0P
and changing the bedlined is a woman's. so can you kindly go and put the plastic sheet on the bed for when the good lady gets home!!!!!
Ewwww.... nasty boy!

Another thing, men can't just sit on the sofa either... it's usually a full out sprawl and a look of disgust when you ask them to move their feet ;0P
I use a BEER glass to water my lavender plant. There.
And not one of you women can pee 8ft up a wall or write your name in the snow whilst standing still, you don't know your born!!!
That may well be Ratter, but you don't have boobies. I know which I'd prefer.






Yup, being able to pee standing up.
(sg!!! Bodrum'a has reoprned - they even had the mayor to do an official opening ceremony!!!!)
why would i want to pee 8ft up a wall?
You're having me on now aren't you nat?
Ahem, ladies (and Steve), I think you'll find that THIS is why men are men!!
1.Your last name stays put.
2. The garage is all yours.
3 Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. You can be president.
6. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rats hindquarters whether or not someone notices your new haircut.
9. The world is your urinal.
10. You never have to drive to another gas station because "this one is just too icky."
11. Same work, more pay.
12. Wrinkles add character.
13. Wedding Dress, $5,000; Tux Rental, $100.
14. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. You know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
24. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
25. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
26. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
27. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
28. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
29. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
30. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
Part II
31. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
32. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
33. You almost never have strap problems in public.
34. You don't mind wrinkles in your clothes.
35. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
36. You don't have to shave below your neck.
37. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
38. You can do your nails with a pocket knife.
39. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
40. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th, in 30 minutes.
41. You can pack for a trip in less than a half hour.
42. Your hair is dry after taking a shower by the time you're dressed.
43. Facial hair is a good thing.
44. You can go to the bathroom without a support group
45. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
46. You can write your name in the snow.
47. You can take your shirt off on a hot day.
48. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
49. Gray hair adds character.
50. With 400 million sperm per go, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, in theory.
51. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
52. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
53. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
54. Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
55. You don't care if the toilet seat is left up.
56. One acronym that doesn't pertain - PMS.
57. You don't have to wear makeup.
58. You can think about girls all the time and it's alright.
59. You can lean down to pick something up without having to worry about your shirt hanging open.
60. You don't get pregnant.
61. You don't take hours and hours to get
LFAO @ Trojan Force!!!

Right... where do I sign up for the sex change op... I'm convinced ;p)

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