male masturbation

[liquidspace]

Can any guys give me some perspective on this? I live with my bf and he masturbates when I am not there and it is a real issue for me - big time. I know people will say yeah its not big deal etc but for me it is.

In addition to this he has also been phoning sex chat lines, I dont care about the money spent aspect its the hurt thing. The thought of him getting off while talking to complete strangers really hurts me.

He knows how I feel but says that it is no big deal, he can live with what he does.

Im finding it hard to live with - I cant make myself feel ok about it.

[Skreecheeboy]

Oh right, well in that case it's misdirected and he should moan at them instead. Maybe you just need to slip him some viagra and stick on a porno with him.

[PinkFizz]

Its a fact - ALL men masturbate. What I don't get is why he tells you when he has?? Very odd! He sounds an absolute T*sser( no pun intended!!) and I would tell him to sling his hook!! He obviously tells you because he knows how you will react.

[liquidspace]

No he tells me if I ask him, he tells me the truth, its me who clearly has the issue.

[peppy]

In between me reading this thread and replying, you posted twice about him putting you down etc.

This isn't an about - turn, but I tend to feel now that HE has the insecurity issues, particularly regarding sex.
Two of the classic signs of this are preferring to masturbate ( nothing to prove to anybody but himself )
and manipulation by criticism ( if he can make you feel like sh1t, you will be grateful for the crumbs he will throw you )

Has he had a problem with sex before you ( i.e. premature ejaculation or criticism of his performance ) ?
I could be way off beam, but it sounds like it to me x x

[missrandom]

i aggree peppy

[liquidspace]

Peppy you are v insightful I think.
He doesnt have premature ejaculation but thinking about it, his ex wife never came and at the end of his relationship told him he had a small one!
He DOES manipulative through criticism, he is the world's biggest manipulator and he does have the knack of making me feel grateful for any small bit of affection etc.

[liquidspace]

I mean he does manipulate through criticism, typos as a result of my headache clearly !

[liquidspace]

Yes Paul that is an idea, the only problem is that I cant phone him for a sex chat when he is already on the sex chat line as I cant get through.

The other thing is that I cant phone him when Im not there as I would be ringing him from work and I dont think the guys here would appreciate me making that kind call! lol

But I get your point thanks.

[liquidspace]

The strange thing is that he is the worlds most confident person and he is very aware of how he treats me.

[raysparx1]

Hello liquid, I haven't read all the other posts, but I think the masturbation and chat line thing is just a part of the problem you have, he does sound very insecure for some reason, I don't think he will admit this, but there is a deeper rooted problem than him just, "pulling his pudden" you need to look at your whole relationship, if he would rather do it himself than have sex with you, maybe it is time to get rid of him, hope you can sort it out, Ray

[peppy]

And give him IMMENSE amounts of praise on his performance etc, no matter how infrequent. My guess is that he is longing for a fulfilling sex-life with you.

You said that your sex-life consisted of you pleasuring him, again, with all other signs, this shows a lack of confidence on his part. You're giving him the ' Get out of jail free ' card.
He hasn't got to face his problem, and more to the point, though you may not know it, you are contributing to your own problem. He may be telling himself after a ' session ' , " all is obviously well, she wants to make me happy, I will carry on as before "

I would hold out for the really together stuff and praise him like you've never praised anyone before x x

[Mr Tall]

DON'T PUT UP WITH THIS ANY LONGER!!!!!!
TAKE ACTION
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/666 8571.stm