Trust no one apparently.

[Goodsoulette]

There is a girl that lives up the street, shes really nice and I try not to get too involved with my neighbours but our children are similar ages asnd she is super strapped for cash, so I sometimes look after her kids or have em all over for dinner, or just give them stuff I dont need any more. Normal things like a microwave, furniture etc etc Anyways they were over here yesterday. and I tell her to make herself a drink if Im busy. I took 200 quid out of the bank and haven't spent a penny of it yet. I have just gone to kitchen, to where the money was and 40 quid of it has gone. I know I haven't spent it or moved it and my kids arent tall enough to reach let alone old enough to know what to do with it. Short of it being my dad that robbed me, which I assure definitely isnt the case, I know it was her. I dont know what to do? Shes never stolen from me before (well I dont think) and I assume she must desperately need it. She has never asked me to borrow cash but I would have lent it to her, really I would have. Do I say nothing? I really feel like its best left alone but I thionk maybe I should go and say to her, I know she did it and its not a problem and she should have just asked. argghhh.

[BBWCHATT]

Good - are you familiar with the old saying "no good deed goes unpunished"?

If she had borrowed it, she would have to pay it back - now that she has stolen it, it is her word against yours.

You just can't help some people.

I am sorry that happened to you, you didn't deserve it.

[mistys]

Maybe you should mention to her that money has gone missing and give her the chance to admit to taking it.

If she doesnt admit it then you could try and guilt her into admitting it, say you needed it for something really important and you dont know what your going to do without it, stuff like that.

If she does eventually admit to taking it then let her know its ok and you'd rather she had asked you to borrow it and that your more than willing to help her in the future (thats if you are still williing).

Its not nice thing to happen and you should feel safe to leave things lying around in your own home.

[Pippa68]

I agree with mistys..although it IS a tough one!

She must remember that you desperately needed it too..I mean come on, no matter how desperate you were would you steal someones money? my immediate thought was that if she had decided to ask if she could borrow the money she would have to pay it back.

As she stole it instead, she doesn't have to. Call me cynical..

[Joe_the_Lion]

How do you know the bank didn't short change you?

[Joe_the_Lion]

Or make up a friend and tell the one you suspect that you had a big fit with her.

Harp on that you can not trust anybody and a four year friendship has been ruined. And the cheek of it!!! She denies everything.

Maybe the suspect will feel guilty for ruining one of your friendships and confess all.

[~Wingnut~]

There are no excuses for her taking this money from you goodsoulette, we have very little money and I manage not to steal from family and friends. You have been good to her and this is how she has paid you back by stealing from you.
I know you say she is strapped for cash but to me by the fact she stole this from someone who has been very good to her, she just doesn't deserve you as a friend.
There are no excuses for stealing money from you (or anyone), stop being so nice about it lol

[Goodsoulette]

I like Joes idea actually. Although Im a rubbish liar. Ill probably say nothing lol

[mightywease]

Or - a bit similar to Joe's idea - next time you see her or she comes round do a bit of "I'm sure I hade �40.00 in the kitchen and I can't find it. Can't believe I've mislaid it. I know I haven't spent it" etc.. etc.. and end up by saying - meaningfully - "I'll have to be more careful"

in that way you will hopefully make her feel guilty and also let her know you know without accusing her directly.

You may not get the money back but hopefully she won't do it again.

[~Wingnut~]

You could distance yourself from her a bit for the time being. She will probably realise you suspect her and maybe it may trigger her into slipping it back when your not looking or owning up.

Might make her realise just how much you do for her if your not there to do these things for her in the future.

[mycats]

ask her to help you look for it? say it might have slipped down the back of something and could she look there while you look somewhere else?
Its a hard one but I really would try everything to make her confess then tell her you're sorry but she wont be allowed back in your house again, she has lost your trust.
Poor you what a nightmare

[pussnboots]

I can't believe how nice you are all being about a thief. She accepts the things you give her and comes into your home being all friendly, then steals your money. If it was me she had stolen from then that would be it...no more Mrs. nice guy...I wouldn't give her the time of day..HOW DARE SHE!!

[legend758duo]

if you are 100% sure , and you say you are.
confront her and ask her to come clean and admit it.
if she does then its up to you whether you wanna still be friends with her.
if she denies itcut all contact.
theres no helping some folk.


lilac today i think goody !!!

[Aprilis]

Well it seems that unlike the majority of people who would appreciate all the help you have given and even feel indebted to you, this 'friend' doesn't appreciate it at all.

It sounds to me like you see her as a struggling parent with little income and want to help in any way you can and she knows that so she sees you as an easy touch.

I despise people who have no conscience about doing such things.

After all you have done for her, to betray your friendship and steal from you is beyond contempt. There are people out there that have little or nothing but are decent, respectable people who wouldn't dream of stealing money from anyone, let alone someone who has been a caring friend.

Please realise that if she would do that to you she must think you are a mug. I'm not suggesting you are, but she has spelled it out in flashing lights that she obviously thinks so.

There seems little point in tackling her about it because if she is that dishonest there's no way she's going to own up to it, especially when there's no proof and it's your word against hers. I would be giving her a very wide berth in future. How dare she treat you that way!!! I feel affronted on your behalf!

[joko]

go to her, all apologetic, and tell her you had been going to give her some money (or buy her a gift) but you can't now because you have lost the money you had intended to use.

or aske her if you can borrow �40 desperately and you will give it back soon

[Skreecheeboy]

Things like paintstripper or spray paint spring to mind whenever I get ripped off by so-called mates but I've never acted upon it. I think the best thing to do is just confront her and ask her when she's going to pay you back. Don't even give her the chance to deny it, just say you know that she's talking nonsense, you had �200 then she knicked �40 and left you with �160, those are the facts, she's shouldn't have done it, you shouldn't have to subsidise her poor ability to look after her cash, she should pay you back when she can afford it. She should aggree or start crying or something. I would regard crying as a total result in this instance for you, short of getting the cash back, an apology and or admittance of guilt is about the most you can hope for.

[willtunn]

If you do nothing you are sending her two potential messages:-
1. I am so flush with cash I have not noticed that I'm 40 pounds short.
2. It's OK to help yourself because nobody will mention it. These will just reinforce her justification for stealing again and maybe from somebody to whom 40 quid means a huge amount.
As she is a neighbour, mention that you have had a robbery and (a white lie here) that the police have been informed and she may recieve a routine courtesy call from them. Hopefully, that will scare her.
It would be a shame to ostrasize her children as it is nothing to do with them, but in a few years time, if they follow their mother's example, you may have to watch them too.
This is a horrible situation to be in. In future ensure that any cash is kept well out of sight and temptation.
Let us know how you get on.