Problems with my mother

[sweet~teen]

I'm an 18 year old girl and for the last 7 years have had major problems with my mother.She is a bit weird and won't let me do anything. I am not allowed to wear make up,dye my hair,shave my body hair,eat food that contains artificial additives,have a boyfriend,wear skirts above my knee or tops that are anywhere near low cut! Iam not allowed to sleep over at friends houses because she says I will not be able to sleep,I am allowed to go out with friends in the evening but am not allowed to stay at their house and she always makes an excuse for why I can't leave the house.I'm not allowed high heel shoes,nail extensions,fake tan,to use a hair dryer.And the worst is she thinks it is bad to wash everyday and will only let me wash every week! I have to be asleep by 11 or I am in huge trouble.I've lost most of my frieds because they think I'm weird. It's not me it's her.My Dad is fine.What is wrong with her? The only other woman I know like her is my Muslim friend's mother! I'm off to Uni ina few months whch will help the situation but will not solve anything

[Octavius]

Well you are 18 so you could leave home now. Either that or just wait a few weeks until you go to Uni. I am sure that will solve the main issues.

What else would you like us to say?

[redcrx]

Have you spoken to your dad about how you feel or tried to speak to your mum about it? what does you dad say?
How can your mum possibly restrict you from washing? Does she lock the bathroom door and shut off the water supply or something?
when you get to uni you will be able to do pretty much what you like and with your own money.
Its only a few weeks away so why are you worrying about it now after 7 years?

[sweet~teen]

And I'm not allowed a mobile or laptop either because of the radiation but my Dad took a stand to her and told her I had to be allowed them.And I'm not allowed to listen to modern music because she thinks it's evil.I could go on forever about what I'm not allowed! Problem is it's not age related.I'm 18 now and she's as bad as ever! If I get a phone call she wants to know who it is and why they called.If I go out she wants to know who with,when I'll be back. I'm such a good girl most parents would be so happy to have a teenager like me but she thinks I'm rebelling!!! I've never done anything naughty.I've never even kissd a boy or smoked a cigarette!

[sweet~teen]

I've been worrying about it for 7 years! I do wash because that is something I am not willing to co operate with.But if she had her way I wouldn't.I feel guilty for having a shower in the mrning how ridiculous is that?

[caz247]

is this a serious post?????????
what happens if you aren't asleep by 11 does she come in with chloroform, you are contradicting yourself by saying
you are allowed to go out with friends but she makes an excuse why you can't leave the house
sorry but i smell a rat here

[Octavius]

Good for you.

Just think of all those things you can do at University.

If things are really that bad and you have reached breaking point, then call http://www.childline.org.uk/
on 0800 1111

[stewey]

Do you perhaps have a Russian accent?

[redcrx]

yep, so do i caz. more so now we have the 'i'm such a good girl'

Go and move out, see if uni will let you rent in halls until term time.

[sweet~teen]

I am supposed to be allowed out with friends but she ALWAYS makes a big deal of it and makes up some excuse.She says she has no problem with me going out with friends but she never acts that way.She never has to use cholroform because I do as she tells me.I don't rebel or arguewith her.Only one I didn't go to bed at 11 and she got really angry with me

[sweet~teen]

I can't belive people on here can be so nasty!

[pug100]

Sounds like she's having trouble letting you grow up on your own. Most parents go through this to one extent or another.
The problem with her being so over protective of you is that when it comes to you going to uni ( I assume you will be off to a different part of the country ) you will need to learn quickly how to look after yourself. Not only in the domestic sense but out on the streets. Will you be going with any friends or people who you already know, as that will make the transition easier for you.
As for your situation now whilst you are still at home, are there any relatives - aunts or uncles who you can talk to about this. Or if your Dad is OK can he not have a word about your Mums control over what you can or cannot do?

[Octavius]

So call Childline they are the people who can help you, not us.

[joko]

i smell smirnoff too.

you are 18, your mum has no say in this anymore - and you know it, do what you like.

[sweet~teen]

Thanks pug.No most of my friends have abandoned me,my mum made sure of that! I will be going to Uni on my own.I am a very good cook and can do my own washing etc. so shouldn't be a problem in that sense.Problem is when I leave at the end of term I will have to go back to my Mum's rules and when I'm older will she let me wear make up to my wedding etc?

[sweet~teen]

Also it's not age related.Even when I'm 40 she will disagree with my wearing make up and dying my hair etc.

[nannon]

is it that you are worried about your mum? It sounds like she is irrational in her worry for you - has anything bad ever happened to her? Do you have siblings/family that prehaps have been i some kind of trouble?
At least you now have the opportunity to leave home -
You said your dad is fine - does he live with you? What does he say about it all?
Have you ever spoken to her about it?

(i dont think this is Russian - sweet~teen can actually spell and is quite coherent!!!!)

[redcrx]

you dont have to go back to your mums at end of term. Get a job, rent a room in halls and stay there for xmas and summer etc.
If you really dont like living under your parents rules then dont. Simple as that

[confused79]

But i doubt child line would help someone who is 18 she legally is not a child.
Are you a muslim yourself? sounds more like her religous beleifs to me, thats if this is a true posting.

Shame here is if not its nothing to joke about, this does really happen to young girls and they cannot get out of it.
This can be classed as abuse and you do not have to put up with it. She is not letting you grow up!

What i dont understand is how come your Dad is ok with you, why doesn't he put his foot down?

[sweet~teen]

Thanks nannon.I think on AB anyone is treated an a suspect way.It's sad but that's the way it is. My Dad lives with me.I was in a terrible accident aged 11 and was close to death but she was like that before that so it's not relevant.It's not protection it's that she has funny views and unforces them on me

[sweet~teen]

No I am not Muslim but I am Catholic and my Mum is very strict Catholic but there is no where that it says Catholics can't wear make up or have a mobile!