ChatterBank1 min ago
really upset
25 Answers
im really upset as some of my so called friends havent remembered my birthday on time. we now live abroad, surely i should matter more to them now that im miles away. an ecard sent when its too late to send a card and not emailed on the day anyway is one example and another so called good friend just sent a text on the day before. sometimes i think i am too soft as i always try and think of my friends and so plan ahead. another really good friend sent a card with the postmark about a week later. ive been crying on and off since monday and was in a low mood last week. maybe i just have different standards to them. its not that im bothered about not receiving cards on time, at least they were posted before my birthday. tell me, how should i be feeling and should i say anything? i feel like having a real go at the moment so they know how i feel!
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"i should matter more to them now"
Why? you chose to move away. You can't expect to be as close to your friends as you were when you were living near them
"i feel like having a real go"
Why? your friends remembered your birthday. How do you think it will help them remain your friends if you ring them up to tell them off about not sending you a birthday card in time?
Just because you think ahead and plan, dosent mean your friends have to. If you are willing to lose friends over the fact they "only" texted you on your birthday then they cant mean all that much to you in the first place. You can't place your values on other people, nor have such high expectations of them, you'll only be disappointed when it turns out they are not superhuman and can't turn back time.
In my opinion crying for a minute over this is completely over the top, let alone 4 days worth of crying.LET ALONE CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE which is what i presume you mean by "taking pills"
At least be honest with yourself. Is how your feeling ALL about the b/day cards, or is that just the trigger?
Yes, we can't always be thinking of african children but at least some people think about others not just themselves!
"tell me, how should i be feeling"
Why? when people have told you how you should be feeling, you have done nothing but critcize them for it, or accuse them of being nasty
"i should matter more to them now"
Why? you chose to move away. You can't expect to be as close to your friends as you were when you were living near them
"i feel like having a real go"
Why? your friends remembered your birthday. How do you think it will help them remain your friends if you ring them up to tell them off about not sending you a birthday card in time?
Just because you think ahead and plan, dosent mean your friends have to. If you are willing to lose friends over the fact they "only" texted you on your birthday then they cant mean all that much to you in the first place. You can't place your values on other people, nor have such high expectations of them, you'll only be disappointed when it turns out they are not superhuman and can't turn back time.
In my opinion crying for a minute over this is completely over the top, let alone 4 days worth of crying.LET ALONE CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE which is what i presume you mean by "taking pills"
At least be honest with yourself. Is how your feeling ALL about the b/day cards, or is that just the trigger?
Yes, we can't always be thinking of african children but at least some people think about others not just themselves!
"tell me, how should i be feeling"
Why? when people have told you how you should be feeling, you have done nothing but critcize them for it, or accuse them of being nasty
i was only asking for some compassion and empathy and how you would react in this given situation as ive never lived abroad before. i am not superhuman but do care about my friends so want to make them happy and know that ive remembered them on their special day, surely thats not a lot to ask in return!
If you want to make them happy as you claimed to be wanting to, then you are being selfish. Did it ever cross your mind that they may have good reasons for not remembering or calling you on you birthday? Of course if they don't remember obviously they forgot ;-)
All this is part of growing up. Hopefully you will learn and soon realise how petty this is. I cannot begin to imagine what would happen if your spouse or partner forgot your birthday (that is if or when you have one.) Woe unto them ....
All this is part of growing up. Hopefully you will learn and soon realise how petty this is. I cannot begin to imagine what would happen if your spouse or partner forgot your birthday (that is if or when you have one.) Woe unto them ....