"seeing" someone

[escapologist]

how long do you think you should see someone for before you make it official? ive been seeing a guy for three months now and e spend alot of time together. i want to be his girlfriend but he wants to take it slow. he has mentioned about us living together soon, and talks about our future so why doesnt he want to make it official?? does it mean im being used?? i cant help but feel a bit offended haha opinions pleeeeeease!! thanks

[escapologist]

thanks for your replys guys, its a shame he doesnt like me as much coz i think hes amazing...i'll have to have words with him! :/

[Prudie]

Ask him what he does think of you as if not his girlfriend.

[DaisyNonna]

Talks about living together? Just say thanks but no thanks. You are being used. Get out while you can.

[4getmenot]

just tell him outright you would like to be his girlfriend, if he makes excuses dont just settle for 'seeing him' tell him you want more and its that or nothing. Go out and do your own thing. You may find he starts to realise what it is he wants, if he doesnt then at least you will know either way

[peashaq]

Have 2 words with him - I suppose you can guess what they are.

[grasscarp]

remember that men are hunters and they like a chase. If you are always available and seem needy they will back off. If you play a bit hard to get and they think there is a bit of competition for your affection, then they will try harder. They always have to think they are in control. It's all a game! Some you win and some are better lost.

[4getmenot]

I used to 'see' someone too while another bloke chased me and I didnt want to know. After 3 years I opened my eyes, got rid of the player and gave the other a chance, and five years later I'm still with him.

[China Doll]

I was 'official' with my other half after a month, probably less. Not really sure why a fella would be introducing you to his family though if he's not relatively serious about the relationship, I know I wouldn't bother if I wasn't serious.

[boxtops]

If you are going out as a couple then to me you are seeing someone - you are his girlfriend, but it's not a different phase of the relationship, you can be someone's girlfriend if you've only been going out a couple of times. It's not like you have to get engaged or anything.

Sounds to me like a guy who wants to have his cake and eat it....

[4getmenot]

How stupid is that saying? what else would you do with cake? lol

[joko]

if a man really wants to be with you, wild horses wont stop him...

he should be proud to call you his girlfriend... that he apparently isn't, kind of gives you your answer...

how much do you like him? if you can just walk away... if you utterly adore him then call his bluff... make him choose... if he lets you go then hes not the one

[boxtops]

LOL, it is really, isn't it?

[escapologist]

a few hours after i posted this question, he text me about the situation and wants to be official :o you men and your crazy mind powers!!

[grasscarp]

He was probably reading answerbank escapologist.

[Sade]

He reckons he is not your boyfriend? If you are staying at his a lot, sleeping together, having a relationship, then I would say it's a fair assumption that you think you are his girlfriend. I think since it means a lot to you, you should tell him that you want to be exclusive. If he doesn't, then what that means is that he is happy to be having sex with other women as well as you. Sorry, but that's just icky! And what man wouldn't like to have lots of women, given half the chance? Be strong and be strict! Tell him what you feel and say that either you are exclusive or you are going to find someone who loves you enough to want to be your boyfriend. I mean, it's not much to ask if it?!

[woofgang]

You are sleeping together and its not "official"???????????????

My mother used to say don't share your body with anyone you wouldn't share your toothbrush with.

[anneasquith]

oh. dont ever share a toothbrush with anyone, :(

[4getmenot]

it is official now, see above