"seeing" someone

[escapologist]

how long do you think you should see someone for before you make it official? ive been seeing a guy for three months now and e spend alot of time together. i want to be his girlfriend but he wants to take it slow. he has mentioned about us living together soon, and talks about our future so why doesnt he want to make it official?? does it mean im being used?? i cant help but feel a bit offended haha opinions pleeeeeease!! thanks

[mrs_overall]

What do you mean by "official?"
Does he take you out and have you met his friends/family yet?

[joggerjayne]

"ive been seeing a guy for three months ... i want to be his girlfriend but he wants to take it slow"

TOO SLOW !

"he has mentioned about us living together soon"

TOO FAST !

[sinderella]

you are his bit on the side.why would he not want to shout it from the rooftops.you have given him enough time.escape!

[4getmenot]

firstly you need to find out if he thinks you are an item or not, just ask him straight out. If if says no then walk away.

[escapologist]

i mean official like exclusively together and not just dating. ive met a couple of his friends and his sister. ive been spending more time at his house than at mine since i met him!

[escapologist]

also, he refers to me as his "bird" and implys that were exclusive but the othe day he blatantly said "im not your boyfriend" and said things are going really well, and i really like you so why rush things??? im not wanting to rush things i just dont know whether im being messed around or not....

[sinderella]

"birds" only pick up worms.

[joggerjayne]

Why don't you arrange a date with someone else ...

And then see if he thinks the two of you are an item !!

[mrs_overall]

He sounds like a prat. Dump him

[peashaq]

take heed of sinderella

[peashaq]

and mrs_overall

[4getmenot]

right so he has said he is not your boyfriend, you obviously want more so why have you settled for just seeing him? If he really wanted you he would be begging to go out with you. He has just mentioned the living together and the future to keep you keen and have a control over you.

[escapologist]

i didnt know whether i was being unreasonable by wanting to be boyfriend and girlfriend after three months but surely if i know i want to be with him, he should know aswel? even after speaking to him and saying i want to be official, he still said nah, we ill carry on seeing each other....i do attract the best eh! haha

[Zacs-Master]

What happened to the bf who downloaded porn onto your PC?

[DTCwordfan]

He obviously was booted, Zac...

[4getmenot]

to me seeing eachother is boyfriend and girlfriend. To this day me and my bloke have never asked eachother out, we just knew we were seeing eachother. If he wanted you and only you he would go out with you. He has done this so when you find out about other girls he has been flirting with or 'seeing' he can say 'well we wernt going out'

[escapologist]

yeah i got rid....after staying with him another 2 years after that incident....:S never doing that again!

[escapologist]

4getmenot - yeah i assumed we was boyfriend and gf untill i refered to him as my bf and got told otherwise!...

[4getmenot]

found this on another thread -

When a man TRULY wants a women--He will change his entire life to make her his. There is NOTHING that gets in his way of getting to her--he will MAKE time in his life for her. He will stay celibate until he can see her again. He will constantly contact her and really 'talk' to her in the hope of being able to be with her. IF a man REALLY wants to be with a woman, he'll be with her, that's all there is to it.
If a man does NOT want to be with a woman, but wants to keep her as an "optional bed partner" on those needy nights he has, he will make every excuse in the WORLD as to why they can't be together right then.

[grasscarp]

4getmenot, that post impressed me too at the time, and the first sentence says it all really.