I need 'sex' help please!

[danilee222]

Hi, I'm 16 and with a boy who is 15, were both mature for our age and have been with each other for a pretty long time now.. We both agree we want to have sex. But I'm REALLY worried about condoms.. I don't trust them! And it's our only option of protection, what type of condom do we get? and is there a certain type that are stronger? I don't want my first time to be spoilt by worry of the condom snapping! If we go to our local NHS walk in center and get condoms, are they reliable? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Dani x

[The Sherman]

there is a type by durex that is called 'extra safe' and im guessing thats a good clue as to the type of condoms enclosed, also there is the morning after pill if it all goes tits up tehe

[june1977]

Congratulation for being so sensible about the whole thing. I agree the extra safe ones are probably your best bet but the ones you get free from the NHS will be fine too - just make sure you read the instructions which comes in the packet on how to put them on - I know it's a pasion killer but putting them on the correct way is the most important thing and will ensure that no little accidents happen. Also keep a diary of your periods so you know when you should be coming on. Relax and have fun.

[bednobs]

the nhs gives away the extra safe ones anyway. Have you thought about using another birth control method in tandem?
pill/condom combo would put your mind more at rest

[WendyS]

I hate to rain on your parade when other people are giving you sensible contraception advice, but do you realise it is against the law to have sex with anybody under the age of 16?

[helster]

well done for being so mature about it all.
i'd suggest going on the pill as well.
h

[danilee222]

Yes I know it's illegal.. He will be 16 in 1 month.. I'm not planning on rushing anything!! So he may well be 16 anyway! and atleast I'm getting help and not just going out and doing it at 12 like some of the girls around here are!


Thanks for all the answers, it has helped me 'relax' a bit about this whole thing!

Dani x

[laurence2]

Well said Wendy.

Danilee, just because hes 16 next month, dosen't automatically mean you HAVE TO have sex.

Why the rush, you.ve got the rest of your life to ''have it'' so to speak, there is something called getting to know each other first, i think you should seriously think before you sleep with each other, you might not think it at your ages but theres alot of emotional attachment tied to sleeping with one another, you can both get hurt if things go wrong, i applaud you for being concerned on the precaution side of things, but feel when your asking for advice on here {condoms} your obviously by-passing your parents?

[Eve]

Check your NHS walk in does them, I know ours doesn't here.

There are plenty of family planning clinics around though, why don't you both go in together or separately and chat to someone about your plan to start a sexual relationship and go through the various differents options open to you.

Do be careful with condoms though, i have found that the cheaper ones they give out are prone to tearing a few times.

Make sure you're aware of any limits on the contraception that you chose such as when the pill may not work.

As for putting one on, practice. The family planning clinic may be able to go through a demo with you and show you how to put one on properly.

If you are relaxed enough with each other this should not be a problem. Take things slowly and gently and don't worry if it takes a while to get things going or right. Do not do anything you are uncomfortable with. Be open and honest with each other and communicate.

How far as your relationship progressed physically so far? It's not something to jump straight into, especially at your age. You need to spend time getting to know each others bodies in a loving and intimate way.

You are very young but at least you're being sensible about things and hopefully it will be a special experience for you both.

xxx

[danilee222]

We havn't done anything 'sexually' yet..



We have been together for 18months, so I'm not 'rushing it' and I know just because were 16 we dont have to go and do it, but we want to, and thats what matters!

Thanks for the help, I appreciate it!!

Dani x

[Gef]

Just remember that condoms (like other forms of conrtaception) are not 100% safe. There are gels/pessaries that can be used at the same time, tAt least you are being sensible,

I do remember a condom breaking but that was during penetration - sorry for being so graphic.

Good luck and take care.

[Eve]

You're welcome hon.

If you've not done anything sexually as yet then lead up to the final act gradually.

Don't expect the first time to be a wonderful experience where everything just fits into place, it can be an uncomfortable even painful and messy experience and it may take you a while to even get there.

Spend time beforehand getting to know each others bodies and what feel nice in a special and intimate way, lots of gentle touching and stroking and kissing, some nice massage and such.

You need to be somewhere where you can both relax and not be disturbed, make the first time special with some nice music and candles. You need to get as relaxed as possible and get your bodies ready.

Lead up to it slowly and make sure he's properly hard and you're lubricated enough and take it bit by bit, gently and slowly at first, if it doesn't work at first, go back to stroking and kissing and such for a bit before you try again.

First night nerves can be a killer so take it gently and don't pressure each other and don't worry if you don't get there the first time. If you're in a secure loving relationship then you will get there. just be open and honest with each other and keep the communication going. Tell each other what's good and what's not. One of the best ways to find this out is to explore your own bodies yourselves then pass the information on.

Talk and laugh together about it and don't be pressured into anything, you both need to feel completely comfortable with whatever you are doing.

I hope it's a very loving and special experience for you both.

[figwit]

my opinion? - you two are far too young for this sort of thing! no matter how mature you think yourselves to be.