Like petal, I never imagined I would be single heading into my 40's. I have had some relationships in past, never married, nor lived-in either, but long-term, committed (or so I thought).
I wonder what "making the effort " is? I just live my life, work, see friends, work on my house, etc. Most of my friends are married, so the bar-scene with them is out, and quite frankly, I am a little old for that anyway. Did that in my 20's and early 30's and never met anyone that way anyway.
Yeah- we all have baggage. Who doesn't? (My 2 best friends who married the first guy they dated say they have no baggage. I beg to differ, but that's another post :) ) it would be impossible to reach my age without any.
I guess I am not helping Stevie, but am somewhat relieved to see others with the same thoughts.