I have done a terrible terrible thing

[Skreecheeboy]

I have just split up with my girlfriend by email and I am feeling pretty bad about it. What is the worst way you have ever dumped somebody?

[delta733]

how long had you been with her if its weeks then i would not bother if i was dumped by email.
I personally would not do it but hey no matter what you do the outcome is the same

[TheEpsilon]

Petal~flower , you sound like a really caring person , something of a rareity these days .
Good look , and take care .

[Petal~flower]

TheEpsilon, I like to think I am. Probably my downfall huh.

But thanks for that. That was nice

[TheEpsilon]

Can't spell at this time of night .

meant Good Luck , of course .
doh .

[tiggerblue10]

Awww Petal hun, I feel for you. What a horrible thing to do to another person especially after the length of time you were together. Some people just don't think about the repercussions of their actions.

[jno]

the outcome isn't the same, delta. Check Petal's post. There's a difference between a woman who's been dropped gently and one who's been dumped brutally - the difference between feeling sad and feeling humiliated.

[Petal~flower]

hi tigger, yeah, it was horrible. And it really has affected how I see myself, and really has dented my self esteem. Honestly big time. And like I said, it was last year. And I am still getting over the humiliation.

Doesnt make you feel very good. Even though inside I know I am. Well I think.

Delta, hope it never happens to you

[leelapops]

Petal, I really feel for you, and the way you have been left to feel this past year.

I hope your self-esteem increases. I know it'll take a while, and I am sure you do too, but I think you are a lovely person (for all it's not a huge consolation!) and that you deserve to be very happy. x

[Petal~flower]

leelapops, yeah I have felt like cr*p most of the time. But still trying to look forward. But it really is difficult.

It means a lot to me when someone says something nice, so thank you for that. (welled up a bit there)

Thank you xxxx

[Skreecheeboy]

I agree Petalflower, i think you are really nice, don't let somebody else's insensitivity ruin your self perception. Grab control of what you percieve, you make the thoughts and you control your own opinion, don't let other folk's nastiness distort your own picture of yourself. You're a wonderful person regardless of what other people do and don't forget it!

[Petal~flower]

Skreecheeboy, thanks. Sorry for hijacking your thread here, with tales of my pathetic story. But it obviously struck a chord with me.

I wish my ex had told me face to face, I guess thats what my waffling on meant really. I think I deserved that much.

In case anyone thinks, well Petal must be a real looser for her long term partner to dump her via email. His excuse was, he could not commit to being with me, as he had booked a diving holiday with his brother, and had I known he was having a holiday, then he knew I would of wanted us to spend time together. And he had booked this holiday, 2 months prior.

Inside I hope he drowned..... how nasty

[TheEpsilon]

He sounds like a prat , his loss , not your's .

[leg_end758]

Skreech just popped back in.You seem to have weathered the storm.Cheers on the crambo comment.You mean i missed a troll?Im slipping since my time meditating in the wilderness .You seem to be ok.Btw echo and bunnymen on channel 4 still doin it .



HTH?

[Petal~flower]

yeah, his loss TheEpsilon

He didnt drown though, as he sent me a text later wanting us to be good friends!

geez

Thanks for your replies. xxxx

[lindapinda]

Hi Petal :-)..Just you get your positive head on please!! You know you are a lovely person and never deserved such cowardly behaviour.Don't be hard on yourself about moving on. Your relationship was 4 years and presumably you trusted him?. Trust lost,is hard to deal with,and I think after this time,which is only 8 months really,you are doing very well to keep your life on track and look after your family and of course deal with a new job!..Have faith in yourself babes xx

[Skreecheeboy]

Aye, totally sweetheart. Nobody's going to think you're a looser, he's the one that acted like a pratt. Legend, I'm afraid I've got a confession to make, i used to share a flat with Crambo and told him that you stayed in Spain and stuff. He is really funny in real life. I was really impressed by your comebacks when he was winding you up but it was really cruel not telling you, should have done it ages ago. He can get a bit carried away when he winds people up though as he lives in sweden so getting to speak english is a real treat for him. I hope he didn't freak you out too much man!

[Petal~flower]

Hi linda, did I trust him? thats a big issue. He was a man with a big ego. When we were out for a drink, he once pointed out a woman who he was "friendly" with. He constantly talked about his "breast enhanced" ex wife. talked about the many women he had slept with. And now looking back, made me feel insecure a lot of the time. Which has stayed with me. He made comments about me being old, when I was only 6 months older than him


Linda, this thread has made me question myself even more. My self esteem was dented so much with his email. And its not got any better 8 months on.

Going to bed to have a little (ok big) cry. XXXXXX

[leg_end758]

No way skreech smalltime troll.Ive seen the best off.What a turnip thinks it can do is beyond me.Watchin 8 mile homey

so crambo dont dis me ,
just dont try for laffs,
or i just might put a cap in your ass,
dont try to stress me ,
or kiss my ass to caress me ,
aint no way you ever gonna impress me,
im a legend,
im from scotland,
you know its true ,
i eat haggis,
tatties ,
and swedes like you too.

Get outta my face boyyy



HTH?

[jno]

Petal, you have actually gained something from all this: insight. You're recognised how he was belittling you, playing on your insecurities. You'll recognise this sort of manipulative behaviour next time round and hopefully run a mile. You've learnt the hard way, sure - but you have learnt. Don't let it make you bitter, let it make you wiser. (It sounds as if you have done so already.) You don't sound inadequate to me, you sound sensible and perceptive. It's painful to lose part of your life like that, it's like a death in the family, but time heals these sorts of wounds.

Skreecheeboy, I hope you're paying attention to how it feels to be treated like this, because chances are your ex will be feeling some of it. Next time you talk, try to reassure her that if you don't think you would have made it as a couple, it's not because she's somehow at fault. You've got no business making people feel bad.

[Skreecheeboy]

I know jno, I will speak to her. We get on well and we're friends. It's not like I'm severing contact.
Legend, what does HTH mean? Happy Burns day by the way!