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Having an affair
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I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this but...
I'm in a relationship that is happy but dull. I've met someone recently that I would love to see more of. I suppose my ideal situation would be to maintain my current relationship because breaking up with him would break his heart (and because we both get something good out of the relationship). He was single for a long time before we met and thinks I am his ideal woman.
But.... I've never been one for long-term monogamy and the idea of meeting up with the person I've met for some no-strings fun is very appealing.
Has anyone else done something similar and if so, did it go as you planned or was it a total f*cking nightmare in practice?
I'm in a relationship that is happy but dull. I've met someone recently that I would love to see more of. I suppose my ideal situation would be to maintain my current relationship because breaking up with him would break his heart (and because we both get something good out of the relationship). He was single for a long time before we met and thinks I am his ideal woman.
But.... I've never been one for long-term monogamy and the idea of meeting up with the person I've met for some no-strings fun is very appealing.
Has anyone else done something similar and if so, did it go as you planned or was it a total f*cking nightmare in practice?
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i actually see on a regular basis a chap for no strings fun, we ve been seeing each other for 7 years, during which time he had 2 or 3 girlfriends and then finally met and moved in with his partner. All this time he also saw me.................
Not one of them ever found out about me so i assume he is a good liar or that the "signs" as someone said arent as easy to see if you arent looking for them.
i like the arrangement, i enjoy living alone, dont particularly want a partner but like the regular sex and the support he does give me. I certainly never wanted him to be my boyfriend ( even when between girlfriends ).
so from personal experience, i feel it must be possible to have 2 people in your life as long as the "other" one ie not your "dull" one , never wants anything else, is incredibly discreet ( like me ) and never wants any more than you are prepared to offer ( like me ) and certainly doesnt want to rock the boat ( like me !!!)
Not one of them ever found out about me so i assume he is a good liar or that the "signs" as someone said arent as easy to see if you arent looking for them.
i like the arrangement, i enjoy living alone, dont particularly want a partner but like the regular sex and the support he does give me. I certainly never wanted him to be my boyfriend ( even when between girlfriends ).
so from personal experience, i feel it must be possible to have 2 people in your life as long as the "other" one ie not your "dull" one , never wants anything else, is incredibly discreet ( like me ) and never wants any more than you are prepared to offer ( like me ) and certainly doesnt want to rock the boat ( like me !!!)
Don't we all want some excitement at times, I suppose it depends how far you are willing to go to get it. My wife and I have seen together for over 20 years, her second marriage after an abusive alcoholic thug. To my knowledge neither of us have ever strayed.
Could I stray, probably not, would I be devastated if she wanted "other excitement" absolutely. Thing is though, you can never say never and who can say what might happen in the future, what situations might present themselves and how you deal with them.
Maybe I'm a traditional type of chap but I think Mintee you are maybe looking for some way of assuaging any guilt you might have through here and look for the easy way out of your boredom instead of trying to spice your steady bloke up a bit. Relationships are hard things to make work well in the long term it's down to both of you to make it work.
You sound like a fairly level headed person Mintee why not try and make things better before making a step that might prove devastating all round, good luck with it.
Could I stray, probably not, would I be devastated if she wanted "other excitement" absolutely. Thing is though, you can never say never and who can say what might happen in the future, what situations might present themselves and how you deal with them.
Maybe I'm a traditional type of chap but I think Mintee you are maybe looking for some way of assuaging any guilt you might have through here and look for the easy way out of your boredom instead of trying to spice your steady bloke up a bit. Relationships are hard things to make work well in the long term it's down to both of you to make it work.
You sound like a fairly level headed person Mintee why not try and make things better before making a step that might prove devastating all round, good luck with it.
Interesting Happyone, one has to wonder how he manages! Slapshot - fair points. Have an update anyway - after all that fuss I ended up in a work-related meeting with the guy that I met (we dont' work together though) and found I was really not that attracted to him after all, spark wasn't there and he had an ego size of planet, yeah prob a bit like mine. Makes it a lot easier in short term but I've realised I am not after traditional relationship and still need to come clean about this to boyfriend.
There is nothing worse than being will someone who is a liar. Good or bad.
If you can't work to make your relationship more exciting, then it is probably time to move on.
You can't keep someone on the back burner while you mess around with someone else.
Your partner has feelings and this new man thinks you are his ideal woman. He has no idea that you are just out for a bit of fun till he too gets boring.
Perhaps you should just be single and do all the things you want to do without hurting someone else.
If you can't work to make your relationship more exciting, then it is probably time to move on.
You can't keep someone on the back burner while you mess around with someone else.
Your partner has feelings and this new man thinks you are his ideal woman. He has no idea that you are just out for a bit of fun till he too gets boring.
Perhaps you should just be single and do all the things you want to do without hurting someone else.
