Am I Right To Be Feeling This Way?
Family Life1 min ago
Feel torn in two
86 Answers
My 19 year old son has had a few problems of which he is due to see a counsellor on Tues. He is also on anti-depressants to help, however, he is refusing to look for a job, answers back all the time and the atmosphere in the house is explosive.
My husband is at his wits end and has announced that if my son leaves doesn't find somewhere else to live he will leave! On one hand I can totally understand my husband and the fact that the whole situation is not good for any of us, and more importantly, our 4 year old daughter. I feel positive that this would be a good step for my son as he could stay at his Nan's house, have counselling and get a bit of head space and maybe think through what he wants for the future and make plans. However, I'm feel like the worst mother in the world for 'abandoning' him when he is going through some sort of hell himself. My son does play on this a bit, however, I want to be loyal and supportive to my husband. Underneath my being supportive to my husband, I am so angry that the two of them have gone beyond the talking/negotiating stage and angry with my husband for my having to choose between the two of them.
Please can you advise, many thanks!
My husband is at his wits end and has announced that if my son leaves doesn't find somewhere else to live he will leave! On one hand I can totally understand my husband and the fact that the whole situation is not good for any of us, and more importantly, our 4 year old daughter. I feel positive that this would be a good step for my son as he could stay at his Nan's house, have counselling and get a bit of head space and maybe think through what he wants for the future and make plans. However, I'm feel like the worst mother in the world for 'abandoning' him when he is going through some sort of hell himself. My son does play on this a bit, however, I want to be loyal and supportive to my husband. Underneath my being supportive to my husband, I am so angry that the two of them have gone beyond the talking/negotiating stage and angry with my husband for my having to choose between the two of them.
Please can you advise, many thanks!
Answers
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If the relationship between him and his stepfather is difficult joeluke is what I mean. It has to come from somewhere. The problems will stem from something in the past, or genetics, I guess.
But I will say, only you know your son ruthandsam and you're the one who knows best. The break away with his grandmother may work. But I'd definitely make sure that he continues to get help, otherwise it's a horrible scary spiral.
But I will say, only you know your son ruthandsam and you're the one who knows best. The break away with his grandmother may work. But I'd definitely make sure that he continues to get help, otherwise it's a horrible scary spiral.
Or kick him out, he goes and lives with his nan and continues with the same cycle he is right now? Just another situation... I'm not saying that then not kicking him out will not make a difference. But this is a serious situation, and I'm sure that ruthandsam loves and cares for her son dearly, and would want to help him, rather than make rash decisions.
His sleep pattern is typical of someone who is depressed.
Your son is male, a teenager, unemployed and depressed - a bad mix.
Send him to see his nan for a holiday and buy him a dongle. He really needs to take a step back from his situation. He also needs to make friends - maybe some sort of further education or voluntary work.
Your son is male, a teenager, unemployed and depressed - a bad mix.
Send him to see his nan for a holiday and buy him a dongle. He really needs to take a step back from his situation. He also needs to make friends - maybe some sort of further education or voluntary work.
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