potty training

[oscartony]

my daughter is 2 and a half and uses the potty for wees but adamantly won't for poos, she is frightened of the toilet if sat on it, anybody help!?

[Sparkles3]

This will sound very crude - so apologies! However, apparently some children are frightened of the sensation of the poo dropping away from them. Some are also concerned about what it looks like.

My friend's daughter had this issue, her daughter was frightened like yours and would hold on to her poos until naptime/bedtime when she had a nappy on. My friend accepted this for a good few months, assuming that with encouragement to 'be a big girl and do it on the toilet/potty', she would just want to do that. That didn't happen!

Suggestions given to my friend were the normal ones of having a nappy in the potty (to reduce the 'drop'!) and making a real fuss when she does a poo in the toilet/potty with particularly special rewards, heaping on the praise etc.

For my friend's daughter that didn't really work. In the end, they stopped her nappies at sleep time and so she stopped having a poo altogether for about 36/48 hours (despite copious fibre-filled foods being encouraged!!). At this point (and when she had dreadful wind!!) my friend sat her on the toilet and sat with her for about an hour holding her hands and talking to her calmly - her daughter was quite upset and frightened but calmed down and stopped crying until she eventually did what needed doing. Fab present, calls to Granny, big praise from mummy and daddy - daughter VERY PROUD of achievement! The next day was similar, my friend sat with her for about 30 minutes (a few tears initially) and the third day, she asked to go for a poo herself. Problem sorted.

I know it sounds a bit harsh, my friend had shyed away from this for some time, hoping encouragement/sticker charts etc. would work, but being frightened of it and having another option (ie. the nappy) meant that for her this was the only way to sort it out - and worked very quickly.

Good luck, hope your daughter 'performs' for you soon!

[oscartony]

sparkles3 a well thought out reply thankyou very much, what you describe as almost identical to my daughters anxieties!

[xanderma]

Great ideas from Sparkles, can I just add my two-penn'orth?

My daughter was just turned 3 when she came out of nappies for wees, but sadly saw a little girl at playgroup who was constipated and crying on the toilet - my little one assumed it was the toilet that was causing the pain and from that day flatly refused to use it for a poo.

She would always ask for a nappy when she needed a poo, and at first, I refused, but that just meant she wouldn't poo at all. I then put on a nappy just for the poo (sorry, there's too much poo in this reply!!!), and gradually persuaded her to sit on the loo with the nappy on . I would then loosen the fastening on the nappy, a little more each time (yes, it took ages!) until eventually she would let me drape the nappy over the toilet, and just sit above it.

She stuck at this stage for many weeks, and I couldn't make any progress until we went away in our caravan. There, the strange shape of the toilet meant the nappy just wouldn't balance and she had no choice but to manage - which by then she did brilliantly. Lots of praise and rewards along the way - took us 8 months to crack it!

Now, I'm not sure how helpful this is, unless you have a spare chemical toilet kicking around(!), but the point is, as Sparkle said, praise, comfort, reassurance and patience will get there in the end. It's not uncommon, and, if a nappy is what it takes, go with it for a few weeks then try again.

Good luck - Diane

[pinkflamingo]

OMG are you people real

I'm a mother of five children, I can't understand why you are making such a fuss. I have never seen an adult in a nappy.

Your daughter will use the toilet when she is ready.

Please take my advice and don't make it an issue

[little coojy]

it's not an unusual problem, but the bigger issue you make of it the worse it can get, all children grow out of this dont push them. when they do use the loo tell them how proud you are of them and give them a treat, it doesn't have to be big and expensive.