Do I Still Pay Maintenance To My Ex If My Daughter Is On Holiday With Me For 3 Weeks?

[winkyridg]

Hi, i have an 18 year old daughter i still pay child maintenance for as she is still in Full Time education, we are due to go on holiday next Thursday for just over 3 weeks, is it unreasonable for me to stop her payments as my daughter will be with me?

I'll be paying all her expenses whilst we're away so basically i'll be paying for her twice or is it more reasonable to pay a reduced sum for the 3 weeks she's with me.

I pay £65 a week, it's a mutual agreement and the CSA are not involved.
We hate the sight of each other so communication is a definite nono.

[pixie374]

Not particularly... I presume her part of rent and bills etc still need to be paid while she is away. Either way, you can't decide without communication with the mother. Bite the bullet.

[bednobs]

i presume part of your maintenance is to provide a roof over her head? (although 65 qid a week seems really small to feed, house and clothe someone)
If so, i think you still need to pay

[Islay]

Yes you still need to pay it. Her mother may use it to provide clothes etc even if she is away.

[winkyridg]

65 quid a week is 25 more than the CSA recommends for 1 child bednobs

[New Judge]

For heaven's sake!

£65 a week is £3,380 per year. The girl is an adult and her mother needs all of that (and a lot more) to provide for her. You are talking about withholding £195 on the basis that you will be looking after her immediate needs for three weeks. The fact that the CSA recommends £40 a week is neither here nor there. That sum is ridiculously low and in fact the amount you pay for her upkeep is nowhere near the sum you would shell out if you lived together as a family.

Give your daughter a treat and giver her mother the usual sum to help meet her usual expenses.

[EDDIE51]

Unless you and the mother can negociate a temporary arrangement between the two of you then you still have to pay. You are going to have to talk to each other or just put up with it. My daughter is in the same position but they have agreed that maintenance will not be paid when my granddaughter is on holiday with her dad. Asking a court to sort it out will just cost a lot of money to tell you the same as I have just said, been there and done it!

[ummmm]

Yes, pay it. She may have direct debits going out!

£65 is not a huge amount.

[Peter Pedant]

yes you should pay all of the £190.

How much are you paying for the holiday? I just dont think it is useful to divide the maintenance into fixed and variable costs - fixed - CT and rent, variable - food, some elec and gas.
and knock off the variable estimated costs.
Just cough up the whole lot

[I had a tenant who took the keys on the 1st but was on holiday until the 7th and so for some reason did not feel obliged to give me the first two weeks rent - not in occupation. We very nearly split after 6 months. The main motivation was not justice or fairness - she just wanted some money to offset on the cost of the holiday and the first months rent seemed an excellent fund]

I also had a fren'who had a clean clean his house and HE came out with - I have found she walks to my house to clean it - do I need to go on giving her the bus-fare ( as well the whackeroo for cleaning) ?
I said I dont think we should be discussing this.

go on pay up !

[yogi-bear]

^ Ditto......your daughter deserves that, winky.

[Peter Pedant]

o god 3 x £ 65 is £ 195
sozza
I really should be able to multiply by three

[winkyridg]

I pay for my daughter ummmm not my ex's direct debits

[pixie374]

In any case, the question is- is it unreasonable to break a mutual agreement without communication? I think the answer is obvious.

[pixie374]

Direct debits involve your daughter- doesn't she live with her?

[kvalidir]

No wonder she hates the sight of you, what a mean spirited, small minded man, still hell bent on making life difficult for your ex. It's obvious that the right thing is to pay as normal I've no idea why you would think otherwise. When my parents split up my father paid for our housing needs entirely and £100 per week for each of us because he understood that when you split up it's not a carte blanche to make your ex's life difficult and that friendly and respectful relations matter. As such we're all very close and happy.

[ummmm]

So you daughter doesn't use any amenities?

[hc4361]

Discuss it with your ex-wife and come to an agreement. If she insists that you pay then you really have no choice but to pay.

[Peter Pedant]

what would your daughter think if you suspended payment ( in a technical sense) - bound to find out either way

have another glass of wine my dear - I bought it with the money I saved on maintenance to your mother -
or she said - you mean old bugga - just give me the £195 and I will go on holiday by myself.

I think this is ... ungenerous of you

[anneasquith]

I believe the crux or your issue that you think your ex is benefiting from the contribution you pay to your daughter, don't worry your daughter will soon be independent and you can keep your £65 per week .

[New Judge]

Just out of interest, have you suggested to your daughter that you are considering withholding the massive maintenance payments you make for her upkeep?

[yogi-bear]

Breaking 'A mutual agreement' for 3 weeks will severely leave your daughter's mother short of her weekly allowances and will, ultimately, affect your daughter, so my advice is, winky, just do the right thing..... go and have a lovely holiday with your daughter, spend quality time with her whilst you can and she wants too, as they grow up you know and do their own thing......and leave the payments just how you agreed.