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Mad over Fifties Club

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ladyalex | 18:59 Sat 16th Jul 2011 | Quizzes & Puzzles
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The Club is now Open


All Members are welcome once more.

Sadly, our dear matron , Mamyalynne will be absent tonight as she has been taken on holiday to Welshland. I am sure all Members will join with me in hoping that she enjoys her rest cure , oops, short holiday, very much.
Because of Mamya's absence we will be facing a dearth of snacks. We will have to make do with a few crisps and nuts until more Members turn up when the nut quota will doubtless increase.

In honour of Mamya, however, I have concocted tonight's signature tailcock, Matron's Mixture**.

All raffle prizes will be gratefully received, please leave them on the hall table.
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Good evening, m'lady - my opening announcement won't be required, then?..
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Good evening and welcome, your Maj....please announce away at will :-))
Very well, m'lady - please grant me a moment or two to compose myself...
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by all means.
But no compost, please, we have plenty.
Good evening, everyone. I am the new butler - apparently...

I would ask that everyone use the front door - several people are known to be climbing the walls.

M’lady has asked that I put my foot down & point out that the carpets are only for walking on, although having put my foot down, I realise that young master Alex has neglected to tie up the goat...

There will be two tailcocks available this evening - on perusal of matron’s recipe book, I found a section marked “XXX - NOT for general consumption”. Naturally, I ignored this warning & found “DJ Spoony’s Thud & Blunder“. (That might say “Dr Spooner”, matron’s often quite illegible...)

It IS meant to be that colour & to do that when you stir it. The fig-on-a-stick garnish is optional.

You will have noticed that the table is now groaning with delicious comestibles produced by my own fair hands & nuts

are also available on request. There is absolutely NO rat in the pies.

The weekly waffle will be held by m’lady, who wishes everyone the very best of luck - it’s true, she was laughing as she said it. Tickets are on sale in the arboretum from the two comely maidens I took the liberty of hiring for one week only from “Serfs Up!”

M’lord was kind enough to donate the following prizes -
Half a bag of Werther’s Originals
A silver-coloured propelling pencil (lead not included)
A foot pump.

Let the - ahem - frivolities commence.
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Well, thank you , your Maj. You do buttle well.

I think I might try the Thud and Blunder tailcock.

Can I tempt you with the Matron's Mixture** ?
Most kind, m'lady! I shall be sure to secrete it behind your bust in the hallway should the guests begin to arrive.
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Hope your hands are warm, then...
oh i am dying for matrons mixture,for the waffle i have blue paper napkins ,only two used,when i wiped my mouth the dye came off and i thought i was dying as my lips were blue,a pay in slip for the bank in case anyone wants to give me a donation,and lastly a lovely recipe from my granny,scottish dumpling.
pleasant eve all,my cover is blown re the multi millions,but will not forget my employer + fellow surfs,I'll be glad of the minxture,thank you,only a wee 1,as on new meds,have brung nibbles
Good evening, missTake - sorry, Miss Kate - may I take your wrap?

An unusual name for your granny - "Scottish dumpling", if I might be so bold?
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hello Kate and Petals.
Thank yo so much for your contributions.

Petal, have you brought your own meds tonight ? Matron is away, you know...
Delightful to see you again, Miss Petal, you are looking radiant & the new Roller suits you perfectly.

Here is a small flagon of Matron's Mixture...
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Hope I win the napkins. Blue matches the colour scheme in the grand dining room.
Well it matches the colour of the diners in winter.
Most amusing, m'lady

(whispering - ply, m'lady, ply! Millions...)
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Petal, do have another tailcock.
Perhaps you would like to try the Thud and Blunder ?
quiet here tonight,has everyone gone on holiday??since no one else is here i will go in the kitchen and make some chicken drumsticks,put tea and coffee into the flagons,mugs on the table,help yourselves.
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SO kind of you, slinky.

Do have a nibble, petal.
Ahem! Miss Kate, please don't try to force the kitchen door again, it is locked for the safety of the guests...
new meds with the driver(husband,he needs something to keep him out of trouble now he's retired),thank you L.I.K,I know you only say that as Mamya is away taking the Welsh waters!I'm making a donation to the local Brain Drain

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