Good evening all to our beautifully refurbished club.
Members are asked to be careful of our new paintwork and it would be appreciated if all animals could be restrained, preferably within a handbag or portmanteau.
The whiff of paint will soon fade, meanwhile, we must sympathise with the Queen who has to suffer this olfactory discomfort all the time.
So far for the raffle we have:
2 paintbrushes (hardly stiff at all)
half a bottle of white spirit
2 rolls of masking tape