Mad over Fifties Club

[ladyalex]

The Club is now Open

Welcome , one and all to the Mad over Fifties Club where Members are expected, nay encouraged, to be Mad and Over Fifty.
Anyone seeking membership who has not yet attained fifty earth years will be considered eligible by virtue of their wishing to join such a club.
Anyone not mad and seeking membership should reconsider.

The night is still nippy for the time of year, so gather close to the fire and let the festivities commence.


The topic for tonight's Speaker is 'Weather...whither ?' .
He has not yet arrived, but we have received a message from him saying that as soon as he can find his waders, oilskins and umbrella, he will be along directly.

Prizes so far for tonight's raffle include:

A bottle of sun screen (unused)
A sun hat (new)
2 yards of deckchair canvas (pristine)

[ladyalex]

A GREAT BIG plunger, Mamya...a GREAT BIG one...

[albaqwerty]

Sandy is nice but grit does get in ones eyes.

Would someone please tell that croc to play nicely. The monsoon, btw, is going down a treat and nicely served.

[DTCwordfan]

Three Castle ducks go into the Lord Alexandered Inn....................

"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.

"Huey," was the reply.

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a Moat duck want?"

"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi,
and what's your name?"

"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.

"So how's your day been, Dewey?"

"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"

Mein (or his) host turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"


"No," she said, batting her Vodka-like eyelashes.

"My name is Puddles."

[ladyalex]

I have been known to be called Sandy by some people (when I was very young and before I was a lady)...but I've never been Sandy Bottoms.
Do you think she might be related to the Higginbottoms ?

[ladyalex]

DT...boom boom !

[tenrec]

Rock Bottoms maybe.

[tenrec]

Or Jogging Bottoms.

[tenrec]

DT were you impersonating Basil Brush with your Boom, Boom?

[ladyalex]

or Bell Bottoms

[Lie-in King]

Miss alba - the croc was planning to acquaint his cat with the rules of "Operation", so things should be fairly quiet

[Mamyalynne]

Do hope the caterers have not delivered voltra vons with soggy bottoms.

[tenrec]

Sorry, the tailcock's gone straight to my head. I've not had any alcohol since last Saturday night.

[DTCwordfan]

they have renamed Rocks Bottom to the Hudson Valley, I understand.

[DTCwordfan]

Or, wait for it - "Tony's Bottom"

[ladyalex]

OF my, Rock Hudson...now that was a disappointment when I found out....sigh...girlhood dreams shattered....

[DTCwordfan]

Oh well time for Poem 2 celebrating Mamya's choice of Cocktail and our recent wevver, esp for Lady J.....

The scattered Castle leaves
shook with AB life
and flung the Saturday air
with swirls of pdust;

swept the Moat trees
and swayed their tailcock heads,
brushed the Sunny skies
“Monsoons” laden with polar ice ever so red.

layer on layer
menacing plumber Tony yellow and black,
moving in Nungate and llama waves
and waves to Castle guests to attack;

a Bards army rushing,
horde upon Matron’s extravagant horde,
whirling and swirling
the pdust on the road;

the Monsoon tailcocks leaping and alba tearing,
snapping dry petals and Lady A’s branches,
banging the Lady J’s Mullion windows
and LieinKing’s closet doors;

with a lull...

the wind
holds
its breath
ready for the Mad ABer’s Saturday storm.

[tonyav]

Right I have found the cause of the Bog ' sorry I mean toilet blockage, I have used my Rods, great big plunger and a Grappling hook, this is what I dragged out, 18 Wellington boots, a Parker jacket, 5 Matt Monro LP's, 27 Tailcock glasses, 1,763 used condoms and a pair of gness's knickers. I think I have now fixed it.

[tenrec]

That's lovely DT.

[tonyav]

Oi, I bloody heard that DT.

[tenrec]

I'm disappointed that you didn't find my false teeth. I'm sure I lost them there last saturday.