Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Good evening and welcome to Nungate Towers for tonight's meeting of the Mad Over Fifties Club.
Igor is at the main entrance, eagerly waiting for members to arrive so he may relieve them of their coats, cloaks and broomsticks ready for their concealment in a variety of places throughout the Towers known only to himself (members are reminded that their items are left at their own risk and the management cannot guarantee their safe retrieval at the end of our revels)
Tonight's Tailcock will be the "Black Cloud" as I am currently under one my team having thrown away their chance of a title this season. Roll on season 2014/15 and better things!
Our Hot Plate Special Tonight will be roast chicken with all the usual trimmings, of course there will also be our world famous volly vonts, canopies and horses doovers. On the pudding trolley tonight we have Lemon Meringue pie, with strawberries fresh from our very own green houses, and whipped cream.
Members are welcome to try any and all of the facilities here at the Towers.
The indoor pool in the dungeons awaits his first swimmers (we have swimsuits available for those who didn't bring one with them, indoor pool doesn't approve of skinny dipping) The bungee is ready, with new elastics atop the highest Tower, (beware of the piranhas in the moat) and on the North Tower you will find the hot tub and mini bar. Members are welcome to wander the grounds and gardens, and by the lake the rowing boats are ready for use, as is the race track, race cars are also prepared ready for members wishing to try their hand at racing. Indoors we have usual treats. Playing in the Ballroom tonight are Alf Rodrigues and his Latin Banditos, for members who might fancy tripping the light fantastic, later on we may have some karaoke. Yet again the Minstrels have managed to circumvent the security measures and are setting up to give us the usual fare of madrigals and toccattas! how are they managing to get in?
Members are requested not to feed the Triffid in the conservatory, but we have left out some fruit etc. for the spider monkey who may come down to be fed by hand. This and many other treats are available to members. Why not have a stroll down to the stables and meet the Llamas, alpacas and Spot the Zebra? We also have nice little herd of goats who were left with us for a brief spell but who are still with us and have multiplied! We're keeping the babies!

for the rofl tonight I offer:
a back four defence with more holes in it than my kitchen sieve
a referee in need of a guide dog (there's no way that goal was offside!)
and a
very large boot for booting the backsides of players who are in need of a good boot up the proverbial!

A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals though if anyone from A Madrid looks near, the cannons have been loaded


carriages at midnight

[polar-bear]

If Scotland goes it alone will I need my passport for future gatherings?

[DaisyNonna]

If I use a bit of magic now seatbelts can be installed by midnight.
Will need another bucket of Black Cloud to keep my magic at peak performance. Perhaps a wee slice of lemon meringue pie to dry it down with? ghastly sentence

[nungate]

I should hope not, PB, I hope it won't happen, as the old Scots saying goes "we're all Jock Tamsons bairns" though quite who Jock Tamson is/was I haven't aclue but I think it means we're all the same. United we stand and all that!

[nungate]

Sorry Daisy, Igor is still having connection problems, but he'll be along in a moment with your refreshments

[DaisyNonna]

And United have fallen

[tonyav]

polar-bear
If Scotland goes it alone will I need my passport for future gatherings?


Good point that, pb, and who will check the passports ?.


Daisy, I would be very grateful if you could magic a seat belt on to indie, don't fancy hanging on while he loops the loop on the way home later, especially after a few buckets of Black Cloud.

[DaisyNonna]

Pb, I certainly hope not. Not sure where I would have to present my passport if aloft. Not licensed for public airports. They are so negative.

[tonyav]

Poor Igor, hope he can reconnect.

[DaisyNonna]

Consider it done Tony. Will Ernie be accompanying you? I can leave the door on the latch for him and leave a fishy snack.

[tonyav]

I'll ask Ernie what his plans are, Daisy. I'm sure a fishy snack will tempt him though.

[nungate]

Guests who arrive by broomstick and iceberg land directly on Towers land and there's nobody here (or will be allowed here) for passport checking anyway!

[tonyav]

Glad to hear that, nungate, I'll feed mine to the piranhas then.

[DaisyNonna]

You tell them nun!
Have decided that none of the political parties (parties are supposed to be fun) offer anything to little old ladies or witches living alone so may not vote.

[nungate]

you might give them gastro entertitis Tony, they have such sensitive little tummies, why not feed them to the goats?

[tonyav]

Good idea, nungate, I had quite forgotten that they the goats like to eat paper, I really should have remembered, after all they do eat all of my speeding and parking fine notices !.

[nungate]

Oh how I agree with you Daisy. I can never get my head around how those who will neither work not want can get so much out of the system, while those who are in genuine need can't yet they are also branded as scroungers! I had help from a local charity to get the right assistance for my mum (83 with dementia) and they also told me I should be applying for some assistance and they helped me too. What I'd like to know is how some people who are on benefits can manage to go abroad for a holiday while still claiming benefit - I know we'd all like a nice holiday away but that isn't at all possible at the moment

[tonyav]

Yep, I have often wondered about that to, nungate.


Another bucket for me I think and some of that Lemon meringue pie if you please.

[DaisyNonna]

Typed a spiel then thought it not appropriate.
Will take a stroll to see Spot and relax in your balmy Scottish air.

[nungate]

Igor is one his way Tony!
I started reading a piece in the mail (only paper with Fred Bassett) today about someone who'd been on that tv show about benefits was on holiday in Magaluf and she was still on benefits! How do they do it?

[tonyav]

Ah yes, that would be White Dee probably, nungate, dunno how though. That benefits street is about 10 miles away from me !.