Mad Over 50s Club

[ladyalex]

The club is now open.


Members are once again requested to inspect the lost property in the cupboard under the stairs. There appears to be a lost male voice choir still there from last week. Any member wishing to claim a chorister should submit the appropriate documentation to somebody...

[Jan1957]

Oh dear, there's chaos outside. A cat ran past and all the dogs took off after it. There are dogs everywhere. My hubby was last seen chasing them down the road.

Oh well, lets have another vodka. Did someone mention sausage rolls?

[atsgran]

miss meg I'll get you a Bacardi, and if you want you can place an order for a thong, I'm knitting them for everyone thats going on the outing, thats if I can find my needles now

[ladyalex]

Hot stuff, Diane !
I think you can get in now whilst atsgran is searching for her bloomers or swapping damask with grasscarp.
Why do you carry tablecloths in case you get run over, grasscarp ? Is it to cover your modesty until the ambulance men come ?

[Meg]

Please knit me a thong, but don't they go up your bum and be a bit uncomfortable?

[ladyalex]

The raffle is now about to be drawn.
First prize, a tube of Deep Heat goes to ticket number................




PINK !

[ladyalex]

Only if you put Deep Heat on them, Miss Meg

[atsgran]

When are the ambulance men coming? maybe one of them can help me with my needles, and I've just seen someone trying to slip in the club without a membership card, need to sort this out

[atsgran]

please please please let the steradent number be BLUE!

[grasscarp]

Ladyalex, doesnt everyone carry clean underwear in case they are run over? Damarts not damask. this raffle is a fix. as usual. grumble grumble

[ladyalex]

has someone sent for the ambulance men ? Those green jumpsuits do it for me.

The second raffle prize, the box of tenas has been won by ticket number.........



PINK!

[Meg]

T'other half once suggested putting Deep heat on my nether regions when I had a bit of an itch, wrong move!!

[grasscarp]

atsgran steradent is very good for cleaning jewellery. You wont win it though. this raffle is fixed.

[ladyalex]

The committee are perfectly happy with the raffle, grasscarp. In fact the first two prizes this week have been won by two different committee members, so it cannot be a fix.
Also, I think you'll find that most people here have difficulty enough keepingone pair of knickers on their person without complicating things with second emergency pairs , third security bloomers and tablecloths to cover their bumps.

The third prize in the raffle, the flowery rain hat has been won by ticket number......






PINK!

[ladyalex]

I hope you suggested to t'other half that he try it out on his nether regions first........

[atsgran]

grassscarp , don't think there's any super glue in the raffle this week, try to keep that away from Matron as she fixed herself to her desk the other week and we had to get the firemen in to free her

[grasscarp]

I always carry lots of things. never know when you might be caught short...... I bet you recycle these prizes and keep the ticket money. mumble mumble

[sleekit-kate]

oh magod?I WON THE RAINHAT,thank youuuuu

[atsgran]

That could be true, the tenas I won the other week were a bit damp

[grasscarp]

atsgran, Matron was appointed last week Mamy something. where is she now when she is needed!

[ladyalex]

I don't have a bike, grasscarp, so I can't cycle anything.

The final prize in the raffle this week, the tube of steradent has been won by ticket number......



I'm sorry , I think there must have been some mistake, the number is not PINK.
Will all committeee members please come to the office to discuss the raffle, please.
We will announce our decision as to the winner of the steradent in due course. Please contnue with your normal activities.